Thursday, August 21, 2008

This is the beginning!

It has been 3 weeks since I joined this place, and I must say, the workload is weighing down on me. Good lord, shooting a million juicy forwards (the "be very careful before opening" types, which you inspect when everybody thinks everybody around has gone for lunch, and they all watch it :P) to my kameene dost from my gmail inbox, Checking all those zindadil people's orkut photo albums every five minutes (bole to ekdum fasst. orkut updates se bhi pehle) , the kind of dudes and dudiyaas whose response to any problem or even a minor glitch in their smooth course of life is "Iski M@@ ki". Freaking out on weekends is a mandatory task which ought to be performed by every other member of the clan, strictly.

"Aree o saleema maine suna hai iss itwaar ki shaam tune 'freak out' nahee kiya! haaye allaah tune sacchee me nahee kiya?!" (Looks in horror)

"Haaye kya bataau !! iss nigodey Anwar ne mujhe dhoka de diya, naaspeeta ain wakt pe farzana ke saath nikal liya"

"Arey farzaana nahee, wo to farzaan ke saath nikla tha??"

"Hawww! matlab wo 'jaanu i miss u', 'i luv u' ke SMS wo bheja karta....." (looks in horror)

Well not exactly!! But they do what they do best and then post the saboot on their orkut albums and then they lock it. (Damn!). Anti-social networking, I say.

*Pause: this blogger pauses to try random JavaScript codes to unlock a potential juicy album*

Yeah Nowadays I am as free as the steel ka chamcha(spoon) that comes free with the brooke-bond chai-patti ka packet. Jhalli. Wait a minute, wasn't this true for last full one year. In my entire stint in my previous company, I just worked on one weekend, that too barely for five hours. The security guard at the gate would have coded more lines than yours truly. And in addition to that, I had stayed late in the office (till 9:30 pm) a total of 4 occasions, considering an average techie here, carries a kachhua chaap mosquito coil with him to the office each day and has a social life comparable to that of Osama bin laden.

3-4 years in the IT services industry leaves a college ka stud boy with a sex appeal of shibu soren and IQ of a masala dosa. All those techie bhaailogs reading this would agree. And expecting an onsite opportunity (Videsh jaane ka chance) in the very first year of your employment makes you look as innocent as Parthiv patel's paaltu khargosh.

And all these reasons coaxed me to switch locations where I would be earning more money to do the same job, checking scraps and exchanging notes on gtalk with friends/blog readers/editors/bots/gtalk_help.

And yeah meanwhile this happened...

Life’s relatively good, as good as being a ball boy in a Kournikova-Sharapova tennis match with salma hayek as the chair umpire, as good as watching India win three medals at the Olympics in our lifetime like the sight of halley’s comet. Life is smiling but then there are dreams, dreams to make it big. When, where and how big. The chronicle will always be at your disposal by the name :- Garambhejafry. :) and yeah this could well be the beginning.


Sunday, August 03, 2008

Heppi frendsheep day!

In future :-

"Aur bhai, sharma ji, Friendship day mubaa
rak ho!!"

"Ahha ! Aapko bhi bahut bahut mubaarak ho.. yaar hum kaafi der se aapka number try kar rahe the, friendship day ki shubhkaamna dene ke liye, busy aa raha tha jab se"

"Haanji kya bataau ab parv-tyohaar waale din to phone busy hi rehta hai, he he he"

"Aur bataaiye bhabhiji kaha hai, kya pakwaan ban rahe hai aaj?"

"Bhabhi ji baccho ko naye kapde dilaane le gayee hai...aur pakwaan ka kya hai, wahee gujiya aur dahee badey bane hai aaj"

"Haan yaar bhabhi ji se yaad aaya, humaari kaamwaali baai bhi nayee saaree maang rahee hai, friendship day naa ho gaya diwali ho gayee"

"Ye hai hi itna paawan din, aur haan shaam ko humne ghar par ek choti see pooja rakhi hai, Mrs aur baccho ko leke aaiyega"

"Jarur jarur..thoda ghar ke whitewash ka kaam bacha hai wo nipta ke pahuchenge"..

Scene 2 :

"hello..hello Aunty Tina ghar par hai !!"


"Jee mai uska classmate Ramesh bol raha hu..aunty mujhe tina ko 'haippee fraandship day' wish karna tha"

"Accha achaa tum wahee ramesh ho jisne last year bhi friendship day ke din phone kiya tha?"

"haan aunty mai wahee (Abhaga) ramesh hoon"

"Beta lagta hai iss ek saal me tum kuch khaas progress nahee kar paaye, abhi tak sirf friendship ke liye hi fight maar rahe ho"

"Haan aunty *sighs* beech me Valentine's day bhi nikal gaya, lekin afsos"

"Dhyaan se beta, Raakhi bhi paas hi hai..kahee kuch apshagun naa ho jaaye"

"jarur jarur"

Haippee Fraandsheep day to aal of you barring a few (arey kyuki Valentine's day ka bhi tyohaar aane waala hai). Friendship day is the foundation for the house, to be built ,whose housewarming is scheduled six months later on the valentine's day and subsequent "hum 2 se 3 ho gaye moment" 9 months later on the children's day.

The irony is, your best of friends will never call you or message you on this day except for those assholes who vanished from your social radar completely after college. And then on one fine friendship day they suddenly blip on your cell phone's inbox. if suppose you call them up (condition holds only if the long lost friend is remotely feminine) and ask their whereabouts they take a deep breath and say "Ab kya bataau yaar.....maar rakhi hai". Those "work life imbalance crybabies".

Anyways, the concept of this very day - which the movie "kuch kuch hota hai" gave birth in to the minds of the youth (opportunist cum frustrated baayez)- gives every frustoo like moi a chance to break the ice-berg between any closest good looking object of the opposite sex and similar orientation. And as they say in the west "Happy friendship day, your place or mine?". Hum to phir bhi bahut peeche hai.

Aur ab humaari baari, I have settled down at my place of work. Free diet coke and sprite fountain at work certainly helps, throw in some dime-less cappuccino and i love this place. For kicks i am working on an application which is gonna replace the T9 dictionary you have in your phones (ab pucho ki ye T9 kya hai..message karne time kaam aata hai).

And yeah i have youtube running on my office PC and so blogging takes a back seat and safely makes love with my CAT preps (which is also on the back seat by the way) while the chauffeur (meri naukri) drives them through. But i am sure if i devote the amount of time that Salman khan takes to read "Ab hum khelenge dus ka dam", i may crack something.

In a relatively high paying job like this(and i repeat - relatively), the employer as well as the employee, both pay a price. :) The employer takes care of my pay-cheque and i take care of the "Time cheque" -which i issue to my employer ( its the number of minutes of my day time which i fill in the cheques with, to "pay the price".)

In future, the seniors say, i may have to issue blank cheques as well to my employers, you know what i mean. and they'll say you are learning.Hmpff.

"Ab kya bataau yaar.....maar rakhi hai" ;)

Lets hope the honeymoon period i am enjoying currently with my employer, continues at least till the next Valentine's day, so that i can outsmart Ramesh once again. *wink wink wink....*