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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

27 vital stats you must know


1) 67% of the self righteous elderly gentlemen believe that farting should be banned at petrol bunks citing it as a precautionary measure.

2) 57% of the youngsters do fart at petrol bunks after relieving their bums from the pillion seat after a long ride.

3) 81% of the old folks talk considerably loud while on an STD call.
4) 81% of engineering students talk loudly anyway.

5) 7.5% of the people from the 18-25 age-group discuss national politics while in a coffee shop. (say CCD or a Barista)

6) 0.0075% of the people from the 18-25 age-group discuss State politics while in a coffee shop. (say CCD or a Barista)

7) 65% of the people use their mobile-phones as a timepiece.

8) 73% of the boys who are wearing goggles look around pompously for any beautiful girl who's checking them out.

9) 58% of the people haven't completed reading Fountainhead/Atlas shrugged despite years of hard work put in.

10) 76% of the 14-24 Age group men still giggle seeing stray condom packets on the sidewalk or elsewhere.

11) 91% of the engineers have absolutely no idea as to what does an HR professional do in a day's work.

12) 87% of the 18-25 Age group people get excited seeing a vehicle bearing their home-state's license plate.
for example -: Upon seeing GJ-01-6789 "Ey ghel-chodyaaa!!!!"

13) 93% of the people belonging to the 20-30 age group use the words "Autowaalas" and "bastard" in the same sentence.

14) 89% of the people who refer Google maps before heading for an un-chartered territory or destination get terribly lost in their way.

15) 77% of the young men after washing their hands wipe their hands clean of water by gloving their hands in their respective jeans pant pockets.

16) In 75% of the high schools, Male absenteeism is at its peak just a day before Raksha bandhan.
The rest 25% schools are boys-only.

17) 93% of the 18-25 age group boys wear a super low waist jeans pant over a Jockey undergarment. So that even if they wear a Silk Kurta the label should show somehow.

18) 99.9% of the actors would never wear the undergarment brands they are endorsing.

19) 67% of the girls who are obese wear super tight tees and denim pants which are about to explode. (god knows why)

20) 81% of boys agreed to the fact that the first thing they do when they enter a coffee shop is to check whether any cute girl is sitting inside.

21) 87% of the people aged between 18-25 years mock at the alleged stupidity of the news items broad-casted by the Hindi news channels, 65% of the above youth have confessed watching those news items on a regular basis.

22) 87% of even the most liberal boys who see a girl on the pillion seat tightly clasping the male rider, use the words "indian culture", "tradition" and "girls character" in consecutive sentences.

99% of those boys would kill for being that male rider.

23) 73% of the people extremely detest those facebook users who claim to have an awesome time every five minutes, and they share this feeling every alternate day through their status msgs.

24) In 75% of the cases when there are 5 people to be dropped at their respective homes in a friend's car, then 90% of the passengers when starting from the same point, quicken their steps towards the front door to get that seat.

25) When boys thumb down messages on their cellphone while driving, 95% of those messages are intended for a female recipient.

26) 78% of the people who hang-up on escaping with saying "I'll call you later", never call back.

27) 2% of all times when a person looks in to the rear view mirror over his head, is for actually gauging the incoming traffic,

the rest :-

68% of the times checking out that hot female who's is this cousin of a friend, sitting in the back seat or may be the beauty behind the wheel driving right behind.
30% of the time showing his distaste through a cold stare to his friend for being coaxed into dropping some random tag-along bitchy female to the other end of the city.

Pick your top 3 and do tell me :) and do check out shashank fame gajabkhopdi's post for more of such viral stats.

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41 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger The Rat... said...

8, 11, n 22 but in no particular order...

but seriously aby... dus ka dum ki asaar kuch jyaada hi pad gayi kya??? and increase in posting frequency??
kya hogaya re??

11:54 PM  
Blogger Shashank said...

9,15,22

many of the percentages could easily have been 100% :P

i heard point no 26 jus a few minutes ago in a movie called "he is just not that into you" :P

12:08 AM  
Blogger NANo said...

8, 17, 19 :P
And Shashank is right about the 26 thingy.

PS: Where did the statistics spring up from? You just put up arbit numbers there? :P

12:25 AM  
Blogger Yayaver said...

reading your blog first time.. brilliant observation.let us not fight for numbers but all points are valid and funny.ROFL....

9:50 AM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

Disclaimer : 21% of the people would actually have a doubt whether the numbers in my post have been made up. The disclaimer applies to those 21% : The only number which are real on this post are the "number of comments" you see at the end of the post.

# Rat

Long time no see! thanks for listing your top 3. Posting has increased as i have a lot of spare time at my hands these days! :)

# shashank

yeah they could have!

Ab humaare post pe movies ban-ne lag gayee, wo bhi hollywood me ! shaabash! :P

# Nano

This request for listing your top-3 is a part of a social experiment i am conducting! :)

# yayaver

Welcome To the dhaaba! it has always been the letters and words which have put a smile on the faces of my readers, not the numbers! hai ki nahee! :)

10:05 AM  
Blogger laddu said...

10, 11, 15....

seriously yaar yeh HR waale karte kya hai..fokat ka paisa milta hai inko....

10:14 AM  
Blogger The Misdirected Arrow said...

Moi Fav... #26, #22, #7
I have an important vital stat for you as well... Almost 45% of the bloggers are just too desperate to recieve comments on their posts :P. Which category do you fall in?

11:06 AM  
Blogger enchantinganki said...

4,9,19,22 almost all :-D

i think these stats must go on and on..it was a fun read!

4:40 PM  
Blogger Dhruvin Dashani said...

Amazingly written.. !! Specialy loved the comment on the HR people.. :)

8:50 PM  
Blogger Venkat Satish said...

well written collection of posts....I confess to myself...I belong to some of those mentioned :P

10:23 PM  
Blogger Ankit Mahendru said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:05 AM  
Blogger Ankit Mahendru said...

hey, just stumbled upon your blog..great work !!

12:06 AM  
Blogger Mads said...

awesome :D
my fav 3..mushkil hai...
i guess 16,19,20
and 23, 27 too :D

11:24 PM  
Blogger Amrita~Ams said...

3,4,17,22...27..u asked only..3??.:P..
heheh..lolz@post..
mast..

5:00 PM  
Blogger Amul Kumar Saha said...

8, 9, 11
:D

12:34 AM  
Blogger I'll try 2 be truthful said...

wah what statistics. you must be a keen observer :P :D

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#7, #25 and #11

I belong to the 65% in #7

#11 is so true.

- CHAUTALA

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5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My fav..22,4,7,17..mastt toh sare hi hain re..tere maafik :P

-Deepa!

7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree with the fountainhead / atlas shrugged thing.....bought them....never read them...passed then on to others.

7:10 PM  
Blogger Instinctivecuriosity said...

#20 - Although, I think you're stating lesser percentage than actual. AND - it works for both genders.

#10 - again, shoot up the numbers.

#11 - I did MBA in HR and even I dont fucking know what they do all day :)

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