GBF interviews Shiny ahuja, exclusive!

After two rapes in quick succession which took the Indian media by storm, ( we are not gonna discuss about the first incident of rape involving the Indian cricket team) the GBF reporter has sprung back into action (he is the In house Garam bheja fry reporter for the uninitiated). Expectantly he decided to carry out a sting operation, hoping to unravel the truth or fallacy behind the latest episode which has made its way in to the list of the seven man-maid wonders of the world.

He decides to oil the paandus at the police chauki and interview Shiny himself. And so he masquerades as a representative of the Bai Association of India, in short BAI, (lo how convenient is that). Nevertheless the reporter assures Shiny that he'll give a fair chance for him to explain his cause. And later he adds that it'll be as fair sending Dhoni back to jharkhand.

Our reporter has this habit of mumbling words after he finishes sentences, whatever he mumbles is not clearly audible to the listener. All that he mumbles will be in italics.

And so the interview begins.

"Hi Mr. Ahuja, I am a representative of BAI and I assure you that this interview won't touch upon those baseless reports going around in the media like the one in which your wife says you are completely innocent"

"Ohh umm..yeah go on"

"Lets talk about the new movie you have signed, your own real life story "Life in a Metro, when wife in another metro".. How is the project coming along...??"

"Well not that smooth as one would expect...Date clashes with my other production in the pipeline "F*ck Baai chance" is delaying things up.."

"Recently reports of the new trend as known as "Casting (kitchen) Sink", where the maids in the homes of producers have been offered roles in exchange of...."

"In exchange of what?? " Shiny growls

"Err Umm In exchange of all the love, faithfulness and yeah all those pains she takes on most nights near the sofa and all this with her CONSENT isn't it??"

"Of course of course"

"Tell me Shiny, how did your love for these downtrodden, unfortunate un-educated hardworking poor little things grew over time"

He grows nostalgic "Aahh well, During my days of struggle in Mumbai, I once visited this uncle's place in Andheri, where I saw this girl wiping the dining table clean with a piece of cloth..mischief on her face..ooohh the way her back was.."

"*Cough* *Cough*"

"I mean.. her back was...bent due to effort, I felt really sorry for her, she nearly smiled when i wished my uncle "Good baai" *sigh*"

"Good old days"

*Sighs *"My little mer-maid"

"What??"

"*oops*...Umm wtf ask the next question! Quick!! I need to...umm... sleep"

"You do love these baais don't you??"

"What Love?? I respect them...they are noble women.."

"That explains your liking for Kangna ranaut.."

"Did u just say...?? "

"Umm...No No sir, never mind, would you like some tea sir? "

"No thanks"

"Fresh maid sir” winks twice to his inner self

"ok give me some"

the reporter speaks as he pours tea into the cup from his thermos

"Lets talk about something else, like what was your favourite subject at school?"

"Aah there you go again, you got me nostalgic today, My fav subject has always been Baailogy more so since that moronic teacher didn't teach us that chapter in our science textbook, which talked about as how to take precautions while raping ...Err I mean...that reproductive system mechanism. It even explained how to have kids and how NOT to have kids."

"Very fine Sir. Now lets get down to business, Your wife is screaming her lungs out in the public saying that you have been framed and all of it is a made up story"

"WHO said it's maid-up story, she never was up. All the time she was below me and I was over her, ....that stubborn bitch!!"

"Thanks for the confession sire, Wish you a very good Baai"

The GBF reporter scurries and he is panting while he types this last line. Adios!

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