Sunday, June 14, 2009

Govinda = Gov of India

Govinda = Gov of India

Believe me this post is gonna be more random than the title. After all "random matlab samajhdari" :P.

A lot has been happening on the personal front, A weeklong stay at home suite home, (Chuck the presidential suite, the "home suite" is in) Coming back to my office and finding myself ankle deep in work, being as useful as the F12 key on your keyboard. (kabhi dabaya hai?), then suddenly I was told to apply for Visa to a country in sub-Saharan Africa named Angola for a business travel spanning 6 weeks. A new project beckoned.

Now whenever you hear the name of any lesser known African country, The slide show which runs on your bheje ka projector is somewhat like of hungry black kids with swollen bellies with UNICEF aid nearby and if you have seen "Blood diamond" by any chance, then the picture is much scarier.

So when my boss did break in the news to me, I was in a "chhodiyaan todo" mode. It’s like going with Anti-Malaria shots in your ass and returning with bullet shots in your head. Then suddenly the prospect of an African Safari and a week long stay in Jo’burg was thrown in. I knew it was like an offer to scuba dive into your nearest sewage tank. I politely refused and had pity on that euphoric asshole who was chosen as my substitute. Travelling to the war torn nation is as unsafe as Harbhajan singh going for higher studies to Australia.

So I got myself shifted to a desi project, bole to ekdum dara singh ke kandhe pe baitha Praveen kumar jitna desi, which will take me to saaddi dilli. And as the visionary ascetic Anu baba puts it "east or west india is the best" and later he adds "between burma in the east and kabul in the west" but wo koi nahee sunta.

Then some days back I saw this blog crossing the 60,000 hits mark, I know people are losing jobs, some are on the verge of it and some are waiting to join their jobs to eventually lose it. enuff said.

Now this new kind of quiz is sweeping facebook :- "How well do you know Nigodee Salma?" and the likes.

And questions like

"what do I pick first in the morning : the toothbrush or the toothpaste",

"How much marks did i get in my 7th class 2nd mid term Social science paper?"

"What's my gmail password?"

With questions like these , people expect you to score a percentage high enough to get a call from IIM Ahemdabad. And if you have scored a shade less than the other runners, which in most cases you do, you have to issue this official apology."I am so sorry..buhuhu..the questions were tuf :((..aage se aisee galti nahee hogi...bhagwaan ke liye mujhe maaf kar do"

Apologize-forgive-apologize routine. I mean where are those good old quizzes which proclaimed you as the new Tom cruise with an IQ over 160 and told you'll be a bloody billionaire with the sense of humor comparable to that of chandler bing's.

And after you do create your own quiz, and when people whom you expect to score high, fail stupendously, it makes you more miserable. Why such Misery?. Last heard facebook was a fun place to be. Ab bhai koi shaadi thode hi kara rahe hai "ladka ladki ek doosre ko jaan le samajh le" quiz.

"Aree saleema tune Zunaid ka quiz bhar diya...bade haseen sawaalat likhe hai usne?"

"Nahee mujh nigody ko waqt kahaan milta hai, din bhar to wo paaji kaamran poke kiya phirta hai, ek aadh sawaal to bata?"

"Aise na bataaungi , pehle tumhe ye batana hoga ki imraan apni maashooka ko dekh kar kitni baar seeti bajata hai..Uff uss harzaai ne apne quiz me pucha hai?"

And so the gossip thickens. Facebook is as synonymous to quizzes as peshawar is to blasts. The time on the clock is 2:26 a.m. and its time to sleepofy. now doing some justice to the title of the post

Similarities between Govinda and Gov of india :-

Both are inflated these days.

Both don't care if your grandmother dies (mai to raste se ja raha tha, bhelpuri kha raha tha, teri naani mari to mai kya karu)


P.S. : I'll start replying to the comments from now on. lets c what you have got. :)

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12 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger NANo said...

Splendid analogies. I especially liked that sewage tank and Facebook part. Neat stuff dude.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Abhinav said...

Waqai... random matlab samajhdaari!
Arey ek baar Angola dekh k toh aana chahiye tha!

12:46 PM  
Blogger The Misdirected Arrow said...

Un afreekan bhaiyya ka to socha hota jo apne baap ki jayedaad tumhare bank account me dalwana chahtey they... aur waise bhi teri sahi jagah un ghaney jungalon mey hee hai, so please reconsider!...
Nayi project ki wajah se agar tu mujh se pehle Dilli pohanch gaya to meri hai lagegi tujhe...
Nerd kahin ka!

3:00 PM  
Blogger Koi Bhi Purana 21inch ka TV said...

'Randomness' was thr...but had a correct balance with Govindas both in the beginning and the end..
The African Slideshow was spot-on.
Then Bhajji in (Strayyya)Australia...with Symonds still thr...scary!
Sewage Tank
Facebook again...:P
Kammaaal ka kaam...Teri tarkassh ka ek aur teer...

3:11 PM  
Blogger Sarath said...

Angola jaane ka mauka chod diya??? ab saadi dilli mai padhaariye, pehele se bataai diye deta hu, bahut garmi hai yaha

3:32 PM  
Blogger Mads said...

Mast ekdum rofl wala post tha :D
Kudos che :D Laughed like a maniac till the end.
What is F12 re :O
Harbhajan going to Aus for higher studies- ROFL ROFL
Too good Garam Bheja Fry ji :D

1:07 AM  
Blogger Stupidosaur said...

I typed in my email id. And waited...

Nothing happened.

Damn! Was I also supposed to click the 'Subscribe' button?

I am not subscribing to people who give such incomplete info :P

3:57 AM  
Anonymous Amit nahar said...

Good one man .. Humor and comparison at its best ..

5:08 PM  
Blogger Venkat Satish said...

dude i have become a huge fan of ur blog....mast maara facebook what do i pick first - tooth brush or tooth paste!!

3:40 AM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# NANo

Sewage tank and facebook! those two don't go together very well, do they??
may be orkut and sewage tank !! :P :P


Random random randommm....raayndaom...aur jo samjha wahee sikandar

Beta Angola dekhna aur aana ye do separate kaam hai! aur dono me se sirf ek hi possible hai! :)

# Galat Nishana

Jungle me Mungle! Mai to afreekans ki Zar Joru zameen sab kabja karne ke mood me tha!

# purana TV

tarkash ka teer...yaar why dint they use tarkash to store beer!

# Sarath

Arey yaar angola jaane ka mauka nahee angola jaane ki sajaa..!! aur waise dilli to angola ke mukabale Alaska lagega!

# Mads

Thank you ji! ROFLMAO! ee sab abbreviation ka matbal samjhaaiye!

# Stupidosaur

Maine pehle tera naam padha, phir jo tune kiya wo padha aur mai samajh gaya, ki koi shak nahee hai! :p

# Amit nahar

thanks re!

# venkat

Thankoo! That's the driving force which has kept this blog alive! :)

9:43 AM  
Blogger [Amod] said...

Best thing I liked was Harbhajia going for higher studies at

Glad you're just ankle down in work!

3:19 PM  
Blogger enchantinganki said...

hahahah :-D

kya baat hai..good one with nigodee saleema and tat "chudiyaan todo" mode....

7:19 PM  

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