Face-bhookh - A letter

Hi vicky_underscore_coolest_hunk ,

Howdy? As per your request I am sending some quality tested Javascripts to unlock orkut albums and scrapbooks, and a fraandship-scrapper-engine which processes 500 female orkut profiles in a second. Phew! Tough isn't it. Damn these anti-social networking sites..

I feel, it is time, I should tell you, the good 'ol early millennium formula - scrap-add-friend-chat-meet-kiss doesn't bear fruits these days on orkut, my friend. All of the single and looking as well as the single looking variety have fled to a new playground christened as the "Facebook." It’s a hip place they say, coz it’s hot in Amreeka, period.

They happily poke each other (they don't mention which part of the body.Damn!), they paint each others' walls, they buy/sell/recruit each other irrespective of the market condition , they compare each other('s) and even send cold drinks.

Confused ?? Well I'll decode the jargon for you.

1. News feed: - You'll have this feeling that you have seen this word before somewhere. Surely my friend, On the top right hand corner of your homepage (www.debonairblog.com), you would have seen that saffron colored rectangle with "RSS feed" written under it. That’s for receiving news as they happen. And all this time you thought it was a charity banner urging you to "Feed the poor RSS(Rashtriya svayamsevak sangh) workers" and you were quite justified in your assumption as it is indeed saffron in color.



Actually at Facebook this particular feature enables you to monitor what all your friends have been up to, but be really careful as it accurately reports not just you deeds but the misdeeds as well. Just the other day the whole Khandan of Raju came to know that "Raju is bargaining for 4 DVDs of chinese porn at the Burma market".

Raju is in his final semester of Btech.On the Last day of the semester after submitting the final year project and enduring the viva shit, raju breathed a sigh of relief. And the following evening he fished out a DVD from his bag and stuffed it in his player, to his horror Raju saw project slides flashing over his TV screen.

We saw the news feed instantly "Raju has fainted". Rajus of this world seem to be doomed. As you can see, double edged sword is this feed thingy.

2. Photo Tagging : It is one more of those cool features this networking site boasts off, here you can tag the names of your friends on your photos(without their prior permission), just as one of my friends tagged the name of his ex-girlfrnd in a pic, the girlfrnd cheerfully tagged back!


Then I heard that some pea brained Pakistani security advisor named Durrani tweaked something in his private album and was fired for what he did, see if you can figure out, I dunno what's wrong with this pic.



3. Writing on the wall :- Scrapbook becomes a wall here. Writing on a wall especially on the toilet walls of an engineering college, has always been a mentally stimulating job. The good 'ol "Aapka bhavishya aapke haantho me hai" , the evergreen "haanth pant me naa pocche". still lingers. Remember the time when your Engineering maths wala master flunked you in the internals, you quietly went to the toilet and undersigned at the space where hundreds of other students had signed below the transcript where the sister and mother of that master were well decorated.

Here you have to be a friend of someone before you can extend your fraandship msg on their walls, paradoxical isn't it.

4. Events :- Just the other day I saw one of my juniors flashing this one :-

"Sandy plans to attend college on the next Tuesday - rsvp to this event".

So you can intimate people around you about any special event you are attending/gatecrashing.

5. Quizzes and games: - People challenge each other at different quizzes for example

"Which Mumbai-26/11 terrorist are you??” (You can be one among ten different terrorists)

"Which Aaj tak/india tv news reporter are you??" (Mind you, this is deadlier), and lots more.

Above all, you can still exercise your cutesy tricks, like replacing your display pic with one of your childhood mug shots, old scanned black-n-white photo in which you are wearing knickers as well as that oh-so-innocent look on your face. (of course you do this to attract those "kinne cute lag rahe ho", "Sho shweeeet" type comments from the girls in your friend list, the bastard you are ). The guys look at these pics, smirk and shoot comments like "Saale badaa hoke kitna harami ho gaya hai"..."Molested child lag raha hai" and the likes.

So being your social networking secretary, I strongly recommend you to sign up @ facebook, and gleefully poke at anyone you like, but be very sure of not bargaining for Chinese DVDs.

Your's truly
GaramBhejaFry