A tale of the Tandoori knight - I

Once upon a time in a kingdom not so far away, there lived a knight and not just any other knight but the ‘Tandoori Knight” He lived in a time when the stock(ings) was something which you had to get rid of, before making your deposit in the “real estate” and the mid-caps was which the tanduri knight adorned his head with, after he was knighted. (It’s a different story that the knight got rid of the mid-caps much before his followers did and at a later date all those who held on to their midcaps were cruciFIIed).

Once when the Tandoori knight was a small baby , he was given his milk bottle to suck on. Instead of happily feeding on the milk li’l tandoori held the bottle at a distance from his mouth, closed his eyes and then started crying loud enough to wake up all the kids in the neighboring kingdoms. (which included those babies who at a much later date gave birth to the knight’s co-actresses). The incessant torture led the family members to frantically search for something useless to gag the ultrasonic kiddo with, and ultimately they gagged him with their mutual fund policy papers (Phew! At last the fund came good), but to no avail. Tandoori was still belting out his su-suroor (yeah he leaked as well). Then they diag‘nosed’ the real problem.

And immediately the family men realized they were blessed with a special child.

When li’l tandoori started attending school, once his teacher innocently asked him what is “7+6”. Recently the fossils of that teacher have been found out by Nat geo.

And on his 21st b’day he was conscripted in the army of the royal kingdom of Nostrilia ( a kingdom whose cricket captain was disap’pointing’ and their fast bowlers bowled over more ‘maidens’ than they bowled maiden overs).

Tandoori was the flag bearer of his kingdom’s army in nearly all the battles. His war cry inflicted mass genocide as well as suicides. And once he single handedly smothered the opposition when half of his army men were on strike , (some sixth pay commission to be blamed) and the other half were found sharpening their daggers lest their leave application be cancelled by their commanding officers.

Tandoori was conferred the title of a ‘knight’ for that particular act of bravery and since then he has been known as the Tandoori knight.

To be continued….

In the next part : The story of the gorgeous ‘jet’tisoned princess err.. the hostess