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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Reporterrrr!!

Heyaa ! GBF reporter is back again! Garambhejafry nearly felt the heat of the looming recession, as the in-house GBF reporter was planning to switch his loyalties to Aaj tak, and I don't blame him. A job that sucks more than Suck-ti kapoor (i know this pun sucks! :P), pays money equal to the signing amount of Tushar kapoor's body double, assignments that involve interviewing the super elite like the second cousins of Venkatesh prasad (Oye reader ab hasne ke paise lega kya..daant dikha de...bahut der se muh me laddu leke baitha hai!! ) the GBF reporter has a well justified reason to hang his keyboard. (Ab boots to hang karega nahee)

GBF reporter recently sneaked into the Lakme fashion week masquerading as some Hispanic journalist from some French fashion magazine. The GBF reporter was sitting up close in the very first row (which he says is the “stRing” side view), gazing North West and seriously hoping for a chain reaction of wardrobe malfunctions to take place. (Obviously I didn’t reimburse his traveling expenses to the fashion show).

He can be gross, The GBF reporter I tell you, he was once seen chasing a half-naked Shakti kapoor on some Goan beach late night who was crying and running for his gay-virginity.(naya word note kar le!!). You could see the angst in the lustful eyes of the GBF reporter while he was charging ahead clutching the pants of SRK (Shakti *rapi$t* kapoor). Eventually the Gbf reporter was traced by a trail of drool he left behind, which was too viscous for even the waves to wash off.

He can be a beast at times.

But he's a nice guy, and has shown reasonable interest towards his work (?). (Bhai tere ko to pata hoga ki brackets ke andar question mark lagaane ka matlab kya hai yaa phir aise hi padhe jaa raha hai? :-/ )

There he was near the ramp, evaluating the aesthetics and the style quotient of the designs on display. He reported the presence of a galaxy of stars there, model turned actors (?), actor turned (dummy) models, ramp to camp wannabes (Raamu, Kjo, yashraj camps blah!), hot female journalists from 24x7 english news channels (as reported by Mr. GBF reporter), and bhenji reporters from Aaj tak( who has to host a half an hour special news report titled "Khabardar ho jaao khali" after she returns to her studio). Page 3 in flesh and bones, Highnosed socialites referring to the designers by their first name as if those Fashion designers are their domestic help. sample this : "Vikram's collection was okayish, while Manish surprised me this time with the bold cuts". "Rohit dukaan se ek packet parle-G biscuit le aa” blah!


If you look closely you can see the GBF reporter ( 2nd from the right) having a perverted look on his half visible face

And in some other news, an investigative journalism feat which deserves a Pulitzer for sure was carried out by the "aapko rakhe aage" team at Star news. PETA have communicated their appreciation for the same. Have a look yourself.

"Breaking news: Commisioner ka kutta mila"

And our very own 'sick's pack' waale SRK dada (kolkata waale ho gaye) was busy unveiling his knight riders and throwing this uncomfortable and intriguing question before the general public. "Kya aap paanchvi pass se tez hai". I am sure if the question was "Kya aap paanchvi pass hai??" then more than half of the country would have answered in affirmative. (Do taali for the first kaam ki baat on this post.) And hereby I assume that the people reading this blog would have completed their primary schooling just as SRK has barely done. (Arey darde-disco brigade bura mat maano SRK here means Shakti kapoor.. *Quick twist* hihi and non SRK fans jo samjhna hai samajh lo :p!).

The author of this blog too tried to prove it to the world that he's smarter than a fifth grader and has an IQ comparable to a cauliflower's or may be Riya sen’s. (Rumor goes that Riya sen once entered an IQ contest where she had to fight it out with four cabbages, three lamp posts, a postbox and Tushar kapoor, the competition was fierce but still she managed a podium finish, not to mention that the postbox was the gold medalist).

Then accidentally the guys at the “paanchvi pass” team somehow traced this blog and barred the author and the readers of this blog to enter the contest. And you ask why?? ye sawaal tum usse jaake pucho jisne mere haanth err blog pe ye likh diya ki ..

I heard some pedophiles queued up for an entry to the audition room. They thought they would have to confront a real life fifth grader, but instead they had to put up with a ____ fifth grader. Fill in the blanks apni samajh se bhaai log.

"Poore paanch saal aur bore karunga"

Chalo bhai it izz time to say Good baai. Yeah she has been good, washing clothes and cleaning the floor or may be cleaning the floor with my clothes. Jaisa bhi hai long live commisioner ka kutta. And by any chance if you see a person running for his life on some goan beach late night, jaan bacha ke bhaag lo, GBF reporter aaya.


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21 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger Kaushik Choudhary said...

Funny one!
I like the part specially on your GBF reporter in the LIFW!
And the part on the Page3 people!

5:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only good thing I have read the entire day today. Thanks for making my life smile worthy again.
Liked the new word coined. Lol.
- Stranger

6:21 PM  
Blogger gunj said...

vaary funny ji ;)

8:35 PM  
Blogger Solitaire said...

Seems like you are a NON SRK fan. (Correct me if I am wrong). If that is true, you and I are best friends! :D

8:55 AM  
Blogger Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

"Breaking news: Commisioner ka kutta mila"

lolz... i ws hopin u wd write abt sm wresler-fellow named khali as well... i fail 2 c y he is famous...

10:28 AM  
Blogger DS said...

jug jug joyo GBF reporter and keep bringing these stories and pics :-))

11:21 AM  
Blogger The Indian Frog said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:30 PM  
Blogger The Indian Frog said...

IDIOT BOX -> IDIOT'S NEWS -> what's next !!
STAR NEWS did a commendable job, nayi kranti laya hai..

6:32 PM  
Blogger Vandita said...

commissioner ke kutte ke milne par mubarkaan ji ...
accha hua star news waalon ne laadu nahi baante :P
lol!

10:42 PM  
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6:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mast hai bhaiya... GBF reporter rocks!

1:13 AM  
Blogger Anilz said...

Where r u boss ?? Yahaan pe loga wait karein miya ... Tum tho Mr India bangaye, dikhtehi nahi :P.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Abhinav Bhatt said...

Nice :)
Why don't you start a new News channel... 1000 hochuke hain pehle hi.. finally ek sach mai nachha wala aajayega!

6:16 PM  
Blogger Abhinav Bhatt said...

main- achha *
sorry spelling mishtake

6:17 PM  
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7:58 PM  

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