Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Ek Chawanni chaap post!!

With a spate of "Mujhe-Angrezee-aati-hai" certificate type posts being posted on Garam bheja fry off late, I yumm back with an original chawanni chhaap post. This is the kind of blog-post reading which- ghar ki bahu-betiyaa laaj ke maare chew their chunnies/pallu to discoloration, the school going naauty buoys wait for their parents to doze off at nights before they read the post with one hand on the mouse and the other hand on their .......mouths of course,(tu kya socha!!) to nullify the noise of their giggle, and the office going junta to bechaari padh hi nahee paayegi, with content more mature than A.K. Hangal (I thought of writing A. Dumbledore here in place of hangal , lekin phir socha log kya kahen'gay' :P) , this post is sure to be blocked by the fire"walls and windows" of those damn network-security waalahs .

So here I present before you the recent referrers list, the links 'those' guys followed to reach Garambhejafry... (Disclaimer : Mature content...Chunnu-munnu dhyaan se padhna, kahee papa naa pakad le..aur agar pakad le to rona mat…kyuki papa bhi kabhi chunnu tha !!)

How enlightening is this to know that my blog caters to the fantasies of those kind hearted readers who are as innocent as parthiv patel’s paaltu khargosh. Bechaare log doesn’t know Garam bheja fry offers stuff as raunchy as the details of Bappi lahiri and romesh powar making out in public..(ewwww waala tha naa!! oops I have few readers in kolkata as well). I hope they weren’t offended by the “jarurat se jyada mature content” of the previous sentence.

Mallu aunty vs. Punjabi aunty :- The nationwide fan following of the Punjabi aunties vs. the “mere piyaa gaye middal yeast, and my neighbor is a raunchy beast” type mallu aunties who love wonly their banana chipzz and get fat to the voyeur pleasure of the GJs(Google Jockies). The battle continues for the “Google keyword queen” title.

The gentleman diving deep into the 'www' in search of the perfect “Fat aunty maal” must have had few expletives reserved for this blog’s author when they would have accidentally clicked on to the link leading them to this page of Garam bheja fry.

Kasam tushaar kapur ke smile ki ye kaun banda hai bhaai, “Delhi Bangalore rajdhani dinner time” Apun bhi ghar jaa raha hai..aur isi train se… isse jarurat mulakaat hogi wo bhi dinner time re..

(Attention: Passengers who belong to the F-16 to F-22 category on the reservation chart ; traveling on the 1st of nov from bangy to New delhi , need not worry about the confirmation of their berths)

And the brats of the cyber dharti who are sweating it out to find the “Naalayak betis” of this world who they think are vulnerable enough to be coaxed in to sitting on one of the corner seats of the empty theaters running RGV movies; this is not the right place/link dude coz I am looking for one such naalayak beti myself. :p (papa agar aapne ye padha hai to aap to jaante ho ki jhooth bolne ki meri bachpan se hobby rahee hai!!)

Junta this was one chaaloo post before I leave for my home ground. India Pakistan series coming up so I hope the frustoo junta out their will look out for those cricket playing uncles(ganguly, Sachin etc) than the fat aunties of this world. And that applies to moi as well. Adios!!

I have added a form above, whosoever wants to flood the mailboxes of their boss’, Professor’s, Teacher’s ex-BF, ex-GF , doodhwala, paperwaala (sorry agar tu khud hi paperwaala hai to :p) , maali , driver; then you can type in the e-mail address and “hit” the subscribe button to receive any new post I puke out here. Home delivery ho jaayegi!! :)


15 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha!! true to the word chawanni chhaap it was...but don,t discontinue your dissections...real food for thought they are!! :)


6:18 PM  
Blogger Anilz said...

Tooo muchhh yar ... The amazing thing about u is tht u have the courage to with these type of posts too. Usually bloggers are hell bent on making us guess their GRE score and show their western roots(if any :P). Seriously, there is a sense of 'apnapun' in u r posts. Keep up the gud..err..bad wrk :P.

7:26 PM  
Blogger FireWhisky said...

"how enlightening is this to know that my blog caters to the fantasies of those kind hearted readers who are as innocent as parthiv patel’s paaltu khargosh"

lolz... amazing!!! one f ur best yet

10:24 AM  
Blogger Aparna Kar said...

Frustrated? Amused? I don’t know how you are feeling right now. But as long as it directs the traffic to your blog, it doesn’t matter I guess. And you’ll be surprised to know how many of these searches were done by suit-boot-tie clad, million dollar worth gentlemen, contrary to your chawanni chaap image.
One thing I could never figure out is how some males can have fetish for clinically obese, hairy-as-bear, and stinky-as-skunk aunties. It’s like someone asking me – Do u dig bald, mustached, and pot bellied uncles? And I jumping out with joy to state my strong preference for them under the sheets and plunging into a fantasy that would make my parents disown me if they knew about it.
I see it as perverted taste. Don’t get me wrong- I have nothing against senior citizens making out in the back seat of a car or dyeing their hair in peacock colors but I don’t see why a reasonable, sexually healthy young man would go and watch porn videos with ugly, blotched, wiggly women and nauseating men making out or feigning to make out. Maybe just to make them realize how beautiful their girlfriends really are. Does it mean committed guys browse porn videos less? I don’t think so.
But I definitely think that some things should come out of the closet. Sex is over hyped in India. I can’t think of a girl kissing her boyfriend/ fiancé good night there and not getting the follow up: Bade-ghar-k-bigde-aulad look from the middle aged, Oh-what-the world-has-come-to stare from the self styled moral police , and Fuck-this-girl-is-easy-Should-I-follow-her-home expression from prurient street Romeos.
I have seen lock lipped couples here in crowded trains, on main streets, elevators, damn-any-place-you-can-think-of. But no one bothers to stand and ogle. It’s as natural as holding hands.
Most of us grow up with a distorted sense and maybe even ashamed of our own sexuality. Fortunately, more parents are opening a dialog and their kids have better access to information than those half baked fantasy magazines and equally uninformed peers. An ideal parent might be the one who doesn’t switch channels when there is a public awareness message on the tv. But we still have a long way to reach there. Till then, happy watching jiggling bosoms and hairy skin to the concerned few.

5:16 AM  
Blogger Aparna Kar said...

I can't believe it's getting worse everyday! maa k sex stores???? :O

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont really remember how i reached here! ahhem ahhem! :P :D ..hehhhe..kidding hoon.. main to maxx shareef hoon! :)

Vaise sachhi mein ye jaana-tha-japan-pahunch-gaye-cheen junta kitni woh hai!! Hare raam! :D

Chalo u njoy ur trip! Happy Diwali well in advance! :)


2:55 PM  
Blogger Mukul Varma said...

expertly cropped screenshot! ;-)

1:59 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

bhai tu to jaate jaate bhi kamaal ka post de gaya... waise sahi mein kabhi kabhi to in logo pe hasi aati hai jo kisi na kisi bahaane humare blog tak pahuchte.. bhala unke rone dhone ki kahaniyo ke bare hum kyu likhe... nalaayak log fir bhi hazir ho jaate hai muh uthake!!

6:38 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

@aparna: strong views and definitely correct, especially the second part... wer u r talking abt sex and stuff in India.... all hypocrisy regarding the act!!
gosh!! leaves me flabbergasted at times!!

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! My name is Project 71. Weird name I know, but my masters are weird too. My masters apologize for such an out-of-context comment and they know how painful such spamlike comments are. But, say masters, how else are we to present something good to the world. By that they mean me :D. Kindly see what I am about. Won't take you more than 22s to read... Enjoyy!

9:35 AM  
Blogger support said...

aparna said very correctly...

but i like the post :)

want more

6:50 PM  
Blogger Ashyta said...

Hahaha, looking for a naalyak beti myself papa :)

Sachhi yaar sahi bheja hai tera!

Aur smile ki kasam... arey aur koi mila nahi tushaar ki kasam..??

Kuch content ladkiyon ke liye bhi daal diya kar ...

Fatso uncle...types ;)

Serious Note:

But wo subscription work nahi kar raha hai bhai..

11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

does anyone think porn is the only business still thriving during the credit cruch? I think many folks seek refuge in buying and wanking porn during the crunch

interracial sex

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10:16 PM  
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كشف تسربات المياه شركة المستقبل
الأضرار الناجمة عن المياه يبدو مسألة تافهة في البداية ولكن ينبغي أن تؤخذ الاحتياطات الشديد إذا وجدت أي تسرب كبيرة أو العفن. هذه الأنواع من الأضرار شائعة في كل منزل، وأنها سهلة جدا لاستعادة في المراحل المبكرة. إذا تركت دون معالجة لفترة طويلة، هذه التسريبات صغيرة تؤدي إلى ضرر أكبر مثل سقف تسربت أو العفن الأرض.
كشف تسربات المياه
بمجرد أن يحدث هذا الضرر، فإن الخيار الوحيد المتبقي هو لاستئجار فقدان مقيم جيد وشركة ترميم وتنظيف المنزل افسدت. أعمال
شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالرياض الترميم ليس فقط يهدر لك المال بشق الانفس ولكن أيضا إلى إهدار وقتك الثمين الذي يضيع مرة واحدة لا يمكن استردادها. ولذلك فمن الأفضل دائما للحفاظ على منزلك آمنة ومأمونة من مثل هذه التسريبات واتخاذ إجراءات فورية عند أي تسرب في العثور عليها.
شركة كشف تسربات المياه
الخيار الأفضل لمنع منزلك من تسرب المياه الاكتشاف المبكر لمثل هذه القضايا. ويمكن القيام بذلك عن طريق استخدام نظام جيد الكشف عن تسرب المياه. ويمكن لهذه الأنظمة أن تكون مساعدة حقيقية بالنسبة لك إذا لم يكن لديك الوقت للمنزل أو كنت في جولة (بعيدا عن المنزل) في كثير من الأحيان. أساسا هناك نوعان من أنظمة الكشف عن التسرب، وأنظمة فعالة وأنظمة السلبي.
افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه
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هذه الأنظمة تجعل ضجيج ينذر بالخطر عندما تحصل على اتصال من الماء. ناقوس الخطر ليس فقط ولكن لديهم وظائف من وقف تدفق المياه في حال تم الكشف عن التسريبات. هذا هو ميزة إضافية في حال كنت خارج المنزل. عادة مثل هذه الأجهزة تستخدم أجهزة استشعار الرطوبة التي يمكن الشعور كمية صغيرة جدا من الماء أيضا.
كشف تسرب المياه الكترونيا
2. نظم السلبي
هذه الأنظمة فقط توليد نغمة مزعجة عندما كشف عن تسرب المياه. اعتمادا على نموذج بعض أجهزة الكشف عن تسرب سلبية جديدة أيضا وجود أضواء فلاش LED. خلافا للأنظمة النشطة، وهذه عادة ما تكون بطارية تعمل، فعالة من حيث التكلفة وحدات قائمة بذاتها وأنها لا تحتاج إلى أي أدوات خاصة لتركيب ويمكن تركيبها على أنها "تفعل ذلك بنفسك" من دون مساعدة من أي سباك أو الخبير الآخر.
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11:40 PM  

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