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Friday, August 10, 2007

Padh lo bhaiya badey dino baad!!

Hi guys , bulls and bacchdaas(calves) how have u all been?? Haan bhaai haaa!!! Meri part-time job Gumshuda talaash Kendra me lag gayee thi…apne saare gunaaho ka ikbaaliya-jurm kabool karta hu. Last one month I was as bizee as the hutch ka network on friendship day. A transformation of a bhola bhaala technically apaahij naujwaan to a Gheek with better coding skills than mulayam singh yaadav, took place. I know my sense of humour has suffered in the past 1 month and is still ‘suffer’ing in indore-bhopal passenger. Pyaare readers bear with me.

Last one month was spent in playing pocket tanks and sweeping mines and ironically I was paid for it. Then happened the assessment exams and I managed a modest assi pratishat (eighty percent for the ‘devnaagiri’li challenged) in an exam where 300 out of the 450 trainees uttered a thick maa ki gaali after seeing their results. ‘ and then we drank happily ever after. (mere ko to pepsi pee ke bhi chadh jaati hai).

Now lemme complete a long due tag :

I was tagged by Aparna in 27 B.C. (bahut puraani baat hai) and I am yet to complete the tag and so today in 2007 A.D. me ye tag poora hoga. Khoob saare kweschann aur unke jawaab.

1. Pick out a scar you have , and explain how you got it .

Mera jism koi s'car' parking lot nahee hai jii. Lekin mental scars ke baare me mat pooch zaalim. My school report cards acted as a raampuri chakku on my naazuk mental state.

My teacher used to tell me :

“Teri answer sheet to toilet paper se bhi jyaada safed rehti hai, RIN supreme se dhota hai kya”

“Nahee sir mai to haath se dhota hu, aap????”

2. What does your phone look like ?

My phone looks like raveena tendon.

Are bhaai phone hai girl friend thode hi hai. Jab poocha hai to le bhaai , My cellphone is the rajesh khanna of all phones…apne jawaani ke aakhiri din gin raha bilack Nokia 6600, ab iska price bhi itna hi hai…Rs 6600..it is as black as kaala kauwa. (Or was it Kauwaa kaaaalaa!!! In the godrej hair dye ad).

3.What is on the walls of your bedroom ?

Nerolac Nerolac!! & A life size collage of pics of kimi kaatkar and Deepak tizori in compromising positions… (kuchh jyaada hi compromise karaa diya kya?)

Miyaa hum saif ali khan nahee ki deewar par guitar chipkaaye..

Deewar se yaad aaya... ek baar mera dost kisi ladki se link kar ke mujhe chidhaa raha tha…incidentally he is also a tagdaa minister of external ‘affairs’..

“kyu beta kal shaam ko flat screen laptop (slangcheck: a plain jane) leke kaha ghoom raha tha”

“Beta jinke ghar sheeshe ke ho unki deewaro par susu nahee kiyaa karte !! “

“Wo kyu” innocently he asks

“Abey behsharami ke putle, kaanch ki deewaro par susu karega to doosri side se sab dekh lenge, isiliye dhyaan se bacchoo tere kaale kaarnaamo ka pdf document maine bit-torrent se 2 raato me dwnld kiyaa tha”

4. What is your current desktop picture ?

Current desktop par mayawati ki photo hai. Uske aas paas kopche me bipasha aur katreena chopra baith ke ludo khel rahee hai.

Waise sachee bataau to windows ka default maidaan lagaa rakhaa hai. Kya pata kab browse karte karte jarurat pad jaaye… :P

5. Do you believe in gay marriage ?

Oiii maa!! Aise personal kweshchann naa pooch t-shirt ki sleeve daanto se dabaa li hai maine..!!

arey bhaai jab miyaa-beeve.. err miyaa - miyaa raazi to kya karega kaaji!! And baabuji and maaji.

6. What do you want more than anything right now ?

Post this piece…it has been a month since I posted anything substantial on my blog. Mera hit-counter jpeg image lag raha hai..kayee dino se ek jaisaa hi hai!!

7 . What time were you born ?

I was born on a cold December morning on the 13th ( doctor ne kaanpte haatho se evil bacche ko nikaala tha). Samay teen baj ke paintaalis minute. Ye to meri mummy ne bataaya… time dekhna to mere ko 5th class tak nahee aaya tha.

8. Are your parents still together ?

Arey bhaai mai brad pitt aur angelina jolie ki aulaad thode hi hoon bhaai… bharat desh ki ek middal class family ka waris ka product hoon.

My parents are always together in launching a verbal assault on your’s truly. Buhuhuhu!! (baankelaal aise hi rota tha!!)

Aage kya hua jaan ne ke liye padhiye agla post…jald hi aapke najdeeki cinemagharo me…

Update: “Chak de india” ke 4 tckts have just been delivered to my doorsteps. Khush ho jaao india.

Happy independence day deshwaasiyo, ek jhanda jarur khareedna each one of you. Aakhir retirement age aa gayee apne country ki!!





Ee hai meri keyboard ki pehli kamaai...JAM magazine ka cheque.



http://garambhejafry.blogspot.com/2006/09/gr8-indian-spicy-baraat.html
Aur ye raha wo article jo publish ho gaya!!!

Labels:

21 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger Vinod Khare said...

Congratulations!! I hope your literary aspirations soar skies. :P

12:30 AM  
Blogger The Soul of Alec Smart said...

Good stuff! Where have you been?

2:42 AM  
Blogger FireWhisky said...

congos... i hope u gt evrything u want out f life... long time no c... hws it goin wid u?

10:30 AM  
Blogger gunj said...

mubarkan ji! :)

10:09 PM  
Blogger Zee said...

boss ab to aap celebrity types ho gaye hain to blogging band??? awesome post that was on the wedding...complete laugh riot!!!

10:58 PM  
Blogger Adarsh said...

bbahut bahut bahut bahut aur bahut zada badhai ho hero !!!
Tussi chhaa gaye Magzine wich
pata hai JAM mag mein mera bhi naam chhapa tha ek baar... lekin negative way mein :P aur uske paise bhi nahin mile the kuchh .. he he

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mannyy manny congrats hai :)..

Apni mill ke zaalim maalik ko hum sabki taraf se mango bite ki rishwat de de..iss blog pe sannata achha nai lagta :P

Aur tag maxxx mastt tha..hectic hafte ke baad hum bachho ko aisi khuraak dena aavashyak hai :/


Jai hind..bharat mata ki jai :D


-Deepa..

12:28 PM  
Blogger Vandita said...

srsly long time no see...
good to see u back and awesome post!
congo on the arti being published too, that post is hilarious.

4:27 PM  
Blogger gunj said...

dat was awesome :D chakk de dude!

9:57 PM  
Blogger Shashank said...

JABARDAST!!

10:22 PM  
Blogger Adarsh said...

chalo accha hua... bahut din se tu gayab tha.... bahut kuchh idhar se udhar ho gaya in dino mein :P

11:29 PM  
Blogger FireWhisky said...

“Teri answer sheet to toilet paper se bhi jyaada safed rehti hai, RIN supreme se dhota hai kya”

lolz lolz lolz... ur bk in full form... lovely post... laughd till i cried... [:P]

8:08 AM  
Blogger Parul said...

sexy stuff!congrats!
you are funny :D

5:16 PM  
Blogger The Indian Frog said...

chak de FATTE ..
hmmm, ur pdf is wid me..
photo shoto shud be there, esp. HAPPY HOUR wali..
this one is for bharat mata !!

"sangharshon ke saaye mein ,
aslee azaadi palti hai..
itihaas udhar mud jaata hai,
jis oor jawani chalti hai"

INQUALAAB ZINDABAAD

10:41 PM  
Blogger Itchingtowrite said...

congrats for getting published. treat do
good one tag !!

10:57 AM  
Blogger Lady Godiva said...

Pranam Jee,
Aap to mere padosi nikale... kaisa lag raha hai kaam karne me???

2:49 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# vinod

thanks + amen!! :)

# alec shaane kee aatma

arey idhaarichh bangalore me... training ki dhool khaate huye!!

# Fire whisky

Naam change maar diya...mai to chauk gaya dekh ke bhaiyye ye kaun hai ...haai daiyyyya rab ki kasam!!

sab sahee chal raha hai yaar...thode mazey ke din hai abhi.baad ka pata nahee..training thandi matlab cool beet rahee hai!!

5:14 PM  
Anonymous deepfriedbheja said...

hey yaar...thanks for the comment...keep reading...i was surprised to find your blog title similar to mine..but you're hilarious man....great posts boss!

7:56 AM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# gunj

thankoo!!! thankoo !!

# zee

kahaa madam blogging to ab aur zor se shuru ki hai!! paisa jo mila hai!!

# adarsh

ek angrezee magazine me gori ladkiyo ki tasveer khojte huye padhaa tha maine..
"there's nothing called as bad publicity"
ek baar naam chaap gaya!! ho gaye famous!! :)

# deepa

tu kaha thi re!! mera mill ka maalik badaa zaalim hai!! rumaal me jo roti mai baandh ke laata hu wo bhi chheen leta hai!! :(

khair ab bharat maata ko jai vagairah karke naya comment daal!!

4:15 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# vandz

thankoo re!! regulars like you keep this blog going!! abhi khoob saare post publish maarunga... ab to internet humaare ghar ki lakshmi ban gayee hai!! kal hi parso tata-indicom waale ne aansu bahaate huye dulhan ko vidaa kiyaa hai!!

# shahshank

thankoo!! :)

# parul

Thangew... keep bhisiting this insane abode of mine!! *angrezee maar ke impress karne ki gandi chaal* :P

# itching to write

ab to hum bangalore aa gaye!! treat mai blog par hi de dunga.. kuchh bada likh ke!! virtual treat!! :)

# lady godiva

haa ji wo ghadi aa hi gayee...jab hum padosi ban gaye!! waise EC -IIya IV kidhar hai aapka thikaana??

4:20 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# deep fried bheja

arey mere kumbh ke mele me bichhde huye naajaayaz bhaai!! tu kahaa tha... aate rahiye for more insanity!!

4:21 PM  

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