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Monday, May 28, 2007

Oooiii maa orkut!!

In the age of web 2.0 and Spiderman 3.0, your presence on one of the addas where you can 'do frandsheep' with 'cweet' and 'sweetiful' gals and dudes is indispensable. Initially when I joined the orkut network, my long lost kindergarten friends would pop up every other day in my scrapbook and do a "paichaann kaun??"

Some times I used to irritate complete strangers with this. hehe!!

My shikaar's profile name ( ravi_hunk_cool)

Me (on his scrapbook) : Oye ravi!!! kahaa hai tuuuuuuuu mere yaaar!! pehchana mere ko???? yaad hai apan saath me cricket khela karte the bachpan me chhat pe...tu to vadddaa mota-shota ho gaya hai yaaar....[:D]

ravu_cool_hunk : (puzzled..but still jhooth bolta hai) umm.. haan yaar ..kya haal hai tere....arey yaar itne pooraane dost ko kaise bhool sakta huu..kaisa hai tu bol..

Me : haa yaar kya din the wo…Bhopal ki sardiyo me apan chhat par saath me patang udaaya karte the. Tu meri patang phaad diya karta tha aur main teri shirt ....aah kya din the wo..

Ravi : Oye dude mai to kabhi Bhopal gaya hi nahee !!! [:O]

Me : To main kaun saa gaya hoon..hehe..abbey waise tu yaar mota bahut hai vajan kam karr[:O]

So as you can see Orkut sure is interesting. And then there is this feature called the 'Recent profile visitors' which randomly links to five other persons/profiles who have visited your profile for undisclosed intentions. And it leads to this:-

"Oye tina!! tujhe pata hai ye garam_bheja_fry karamjalaa teen dino se mera profile visit kar raha hai!! iske mann me jarur chor hai"

"Oooiiii maa!! sacccheee me ye ek number ka chhaliya hai....ye meri visitors ki list me bhi roz attendance lagaata hai.."

"isko 'report abuse' ka chaanta lagana padega.."

" haan jarur behen !! kahee kuch paap naa ho jaaye!!"

haha!! To visit a profile you need to have a profile and here's a quick guide to create your very own..

I. About me : Now for this field follow the steps :-

1. On seperate chits of paper write down words like "cool", "attitude", "hot", "dude", "cute", "carefree", "life" etc
2. Drop the chits in a box.
3. Shake the box well.
4 Pick out chits one by one and write down the string thus formed in the "about me" text-box.

And if you are not satisfied with the result try out these readymade lines :-

i) "Tu chugalkhor hai tere ko nahee bataaunga"
ii) " haai mujhe sharam aati hai batate huye!!"
iii) "Saale profile visitor..kya mann me hai tere!! kal teri link aa jaayegi mere profile visitors ki list me.. bach ke jaayega kahaa!! Muhahaha"

II Here’s a sample of the remaining fields of the 'fixed options' category:-

relationship status: single *kya kru yaar triple ka option nahee tha to single hi likhna pada*
birthday: *ab ye bhi mai hi bataau kyaa*
age: *ye wala mere ko bhi bataana..:p*

here for : friends 'kuch kuch hota hai' ke cassette cover pe likha tha 'pyar dosti hai'*

children: yes - at home part time
ethnicity: african american (black)
languages i speak: Urdu, Arabic
religion: I am an INDIAN... * oye taali bajaao!! senti dialogue maara apun*
political view: libertarian *iska matlab nahee pata tha yu hi likh diya...tu kya has raha tere ko pata hai kya??*
humor: clever/quick witted, goofy/slapstick * goofy?? mowgli kaha hai?"
sexual orientation: straight *isme NO mazaak shhh*
fashion: TV (hehe 'ftv' aur kya)
living: with playmates ;p
webpage: http://garambhejafry.blogspot.com, www.abey-pop-up-hai-close-karde.com

III

sports: Raja-Mantri-Chor-sipaahi me gold medal, teen-patti, aur Bull-fighting me champion!!

books: Pet dard ka gharelu ilaaz, Jeeja-saali jokes, rangeen shero shaayari...these books changed my life..

music: fav album "Aunty no. 1", khuddar, aap ka suroor part 2

tv shows: krishi darshan, News for the hearing impaired, gumshuda talaash kendra

movies: only if a good enuf role is offered!!

cuisines: Arey mere bahut saare cuisines hai..teen bhopal me rehte hai...aur 2 dilli me padhaai kar rahe hai

Phewhh!! ab sone jaata hoon..hope this enlightening post will help you in creating a great profile on which garam_bheja_fry will mark his attendance daily to make you go
"ooiiii maa kalmooha phir aa gaya!!".


Labels:

21 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Anonymous DumBum said...

i did c ur profile :P lolz... n it ws gud fun reading it... waise yeah... my frend's gt a huge crush on u now... just thot u shud knw... [:P]

7:34 AM  
Blogger Anilz said...

oieee pape ... moi 2nd ... bhai Silver medal courier kardena ... Raja-Mantri-Chor-sipaahi game mein kya tu hardam chor hi rahetha tha :)??? (dnt mind jus wanted to know :)). When is u r graduation day?? ... Happy dent photo tho zaroor chipkana degree ke saath :)...

8:58 AM  
Anonymous sam said...

oye nalaayak tune orkut ko bhi nahi baksha!! koi gal nahi... kabhi humare darwaaze pe dastak de dena.... Sumit

12:10 PM  
Blogger Shubhankar said...

aah...orkut ka post...orkut ke shehenshah ko tera post pasand aaya..!! :P

kya kamaal ke din the wo jab hum bhole bachchon ki tarah orkut pe apni "yaari" discuss kara karte the...aur ye sochte ki orkut pe laundiabaazi bhi mast chalti hai..!! :P

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chits wala idea is awwesum :D !Vaise 2nd std mein 'myself' pe five lines likhte the jo,wo bhi likh sakte hain ismein :D :P !


Raja-mantri-chor-sipahi to aaj bhi dil ke bahut kareeb hai :D!! Kya game hai!! wwwaaahhh! :P

Bahut achhe!

-Deepa!

1:55 PM  
Anonymous madhu said...

hiee..nice blog...hilarious post..keep going!! :)

2:55 PM  
Blogger Danish siddiqui said...

bhai testi bhool gaye.........

oh sorry pura likh deta hoon,,puplic place'''' bio waaley galat samjheyen-GAY...

testimonial

log ye samjhtey hai jitna bada testi----monial untni zayada izzat de rahey ho saameney waaley ko....

1.loading 0% to 100%( saaley issey aacha dial up(internet) per puuri movie download karlen
2.as -------- as flower,sunset,honey....list goes on...
3.u rock...aur 1 bada se guitar bana dia.....
chahey guitar bajana aata ho ya nahi....

bhai guru ghantal cheez hai ye orkut.....,,

7:09 PM  
Blogger COALESCED said...

Bahut sahi jawan!! Aam junta ke vichar ko bahut sahi prarup diye ho!!

Waise marde ee dumbum kaun hai?!!?
Aur iska ee dost kaun hai ho!?!?
Laika hai ya Laiki!?!?;)

11:19 PM  
Blogger shweta said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:58 AM  
Blogger The Soul of Alec Smart said...

Yeah, co-intern will be happy.. And I was going to do a post on Orkut myself.. the "Can v make fnds" junta always amazes me.

Here's a sample:
Hai. I''m sweet XYZ. Just see u r profile. I like. Im smart, fun-loving, sm profile and lukin 4 gurl lik u. Do cm to my profile... v can g8 fndsip.. OR u loose.. ya, i lyk himesh reshmya a lot. Ya ali! Baaaaiiii.

More in the post I plan to write :)

10:27 AM  
Blogger itchingtowrite said...

ha ha for Raja-Mantri-Chor-sipaahi me gold medal

i quite forgot how the game was played. ek post kar dena

10:39 AM  
Blogger phatichar said...

hehehe

2:37 PM  
Blogger gunj said...

your sense of humor n ur own profile are way better than this was!
certain things were funny too....but many gave a feelin of deja-vu...heard before laughed already!

5:07 PM  
Blogger Ragamuffin said...

tuney mera photo dekha na orkut pe...i was really angry...u made me laugh..hehe!!!

7:19 PM  
Blogger Cuckoo said...

Ha ha! Now am curious to see your profile on Orkut... shall do (my resolution for the week)

Keep writing!

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Thisisme said...

hehehe...yeh orkut toh velle logon ka adda hai! :))..and testimonial..woh padho toh aisa lagta hai ki kisi mahaan personality ke baare mein likh rakh hai logon ne..n asal mein sab chuchundar hote hai :)):))

6:06 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

@ all

sorry! for not replying to the comments this time. I am a bit down presently which u can guess by the nature of the latest post. so next post onwards Next post onwards i'll be replying to all your gems.

10:08 AM  
Blogger siby said...

heheeh, "about me" was the best!

8:27 PM  
Blogger Bart Simpson said...

This is hilarious!
And I thought my post about Orkut
was funny!

10:43 AM  
Blogger The Misdirected Arrow said...

Do "Name, place animal thing", "solitare, spider soliatire, freecell", "akkad bakkad bambe bau", "Poshampa bhai poshampa" & "Chidiyaa Udd" count as Sports??

11:37 PM  
Blogger Mads said...

rofl =)) imagine if this was ur real profile =))
kitne franship requests milte
that was too good...the one where u say arre garambhejafry ne profile check kiya...recent profile visitors mei likha tha..too good :D
great post :D lol

11:29 PM  

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