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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The 'K' word -I

Life's boring , As boring as the news for the hearing-impaired on Sunday afternoons on DD1. Atal bihari vajpayee was a news reader there I suppose. Remembering those Sundays with DD1 when I was a cute little kid, makes me 250gm nostalgic.

I was a "Bhery naaaty buoy" according to a certain pados ki chopra aunty who used to say this while grabbing my cheeks with her pincers (oops were they hands??) and nearly lifting me off the ground. With a swollen red cheek I would mutter under my breath the very few expletives (like "kutti" , "kamini"..oye reader don't raise your eyebrows. tu bhi bolta tha jhooth mat bol !! :p) I saved for such occasions.

We kids used to assemble in front of the Bilack and white TV at sharp 8 o clock in the morning. Just after a quick bath, Eyes were fixed on the TV set as dear mommy with her relentless towel made sure her sonny boy looked export quality clean (I used to hate that sand-papering ).
After noting down tips on how to nourish your gerberas and various other phool-patti on the show 'Ankur' and then braving 'Gurubaani' we came to know every Sunday ki "Jungle jungle kyaa baat chali hai, aur Lux-macho pehen ke kaun sa phool khila hai". The magical world of mowgli, bageera, bhaalu and akdu-pakdu. :p




Excerpts:-

Bageera : Tumhe pata hai mowgli !! sarpanch ne kaha hai iss baar shikaar jyada nahee milne se sherkhaan se khatra badh gaya hai.

Bhaalu : Haa mujhe bhi cheel ne bataya sherkhaan aajkal nadee ke aas-paas ghoom raha hai!!

Mowgli: (who's staring at the lake) Uhhh...hmmm..

"Mowgleeeeeeeeee!! bandaro ne pakdu par humla kar diyaaaaaa" pappu is frantic.

*POWER CUT*

"kuttttte" I screamed. There was a look of horror on the faces of my cousins. Sure the word "kutta" and its derivatives were forbidden in our house. The 'F' word was yet to replace the K word for expressing deep disgust or unparallel pleasure. And then my dear mommy came armed with her spatula to sizzle my baby bum.

"Who said that ????" Mum was furious

All the cousins pointed their fingers like zombies , at poor moi. It seems they hadn't heard of "anguli-maal" daaku(a mythical dacoit who used to cut away fingers of his prey), they were nourishing one right in their house. Grrr.

"Oye pappu!! Mummy ne kitne garam kiye tere pichhwaade pe??" a yawning reader asks

"kyu re Haath sekne hai kya tere ko!!"

More on that K word in the next post. I promise u a detailed analysis before Rabri devi and Paris Hilton hit the nightclubs together and Adnan sami starts practicing ballet dancing. Reid n Taylor can sign chunkey pandey as their brand ambassador, Tushar kapoor can stand for elections, Sehwag can score triple centuries, Orkut biokutta can write me a testimonial, but butt butt moi can never utter that 'K' word when mum's around.

"Abey to phir 'F' word bolega to kya hoga??" another disgusted reader asks.

"kabhi suna hai jab final yr project submit karne ke time project ki CD "Basic-Insticnt" ki CD se replace ho jaaye to kya hota hai" :)

Idea of this post and the next - courtesy: gunj

Labels:

23 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger COALESCED said...

hai!! Kuch puchne ke halat me nahi hoon!! Kuch puche bina tou iotna suna diye ho!! Puchenge tou kya hoga!?!?
:P
Awesome!! Waiting for next one!

12:05 AM  
Blogger siby said...

"kabhi suna hai jab submit karne ke time final yr project ki CD "Basic-Insticnt" ki CD se replace ho jaaye to kya hota hai" :)"


gurubaani thing is so true, sahi me yaar, woh doordarshan ke din!!
Din me rangoli aur chandra kaanta, raat ko Surabhi.

Too good. You "WROTED" well :)

12:12 AM  
Blogger gunj said...

oi........main bhi nostalgic ho gai re....i too wanna c mowglee all over again!!
m surprised u dint mention balu!!
funniest parts....
oye reader don't raise your eyebrows. tu bhi bolta tha jhooth mat bol !! :p)
and
"kabhi suna hai jab submit karne ke time final yr project ki CD "Basic-Insticnt" ki CD se replace ho jaaye to kya hota hai" :)

n saade K word k itne saare uses mein se all u cud think of was this??? lagta u havnt ever givn a practical exam where u dnt knw a single answer n all u can say is k***
or may b u are a himesh fan that u never used d k word everytime he matched vocals with gali ka kuttaz!
n had u been a girl u wud hav found dis word extremely useful!!

as always kool post....
though i never gave u dat idea....but there isnt a happier soul than me seeing my blog finding a place on urs!!thanks!
lookin fwd to part 2!!

12:18 AM  
Blogger DumBum said...

hey... this ws awesome... now im thinking abt my childhood... :D

i remember the crowd of kids in the living room everytime mowgli came on... even those cartoons tat come on 4 promoting girl child education used to be welcomed with rapt attention... (i loved tat parrot magar mamma wudnt lemme hv one 4 a pet :( )

awesome post... well reeten... looking forward 2 part 2...

8:06 AM  
Blogger Shubhankar said...

Kutteeeeeee..!!!!!!! :P

Tujhe apne cousins aur doston ko K word sunate hue sharam nahi aati.??? :D

& btw...mein sochta tha ki project ke jagah prof ko pondy dikha dunga tho bichara frustu prof aur khush ho jaayega...oh well...perverted minds think differently..!! ;) :P

12:50 PM  
Blogger itchingtowrite said...

lol...

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*wipes her tears*[are khushi k(e)!]
*blows her nose*

Mind blowing hai ji!
Kya masttt show tha mowgli..aaj bhi poora gaana yaad hai[err..pieces mein :P]!!

hehhe..sand papering! awesome! And my maatey used to comb my hair hard :(,wipe hard my face wih charmis[ahem!!the raaz of my charming skin:D] and what not to make me a perfect "baabu-beta" :P!

And jahan momz do all her spatula work to sudhaaro her kids,other ppl[lik uncles etc.] do their best job to spoil kidz by saying "beta bolo k**** ,k*****..:P"

vaise chhote bachho k muh se kya mastt lagte hain k-words!!aye haye! :P ..marr jawan..

-Deepa!!

1:12 PM  
Anonymous sumit said...

ek k****** ko doosre k****** ka salaam!!
lol.......
amazing!!
especially the ending..... bhai woh CD wala jhol suna to anhi hai ar imagine kar sakta hu!! sure shot back!!
aur rahi baat mowgli ki.... chaddo... par uske pehle yeh gurubaani kab aati thi??
mujhe to bas itna yaad hai.. ke mowgli ke darshan karne se pehle subah utho... nashta khatam karo, nahalo.. aur fir thodi si padhai bhi karlo!!
tab jaaki mowgli naseeb hoti thi!! :x

1:16 PM  
Blogger shaaaaaaam said...

awesme...killer punch in d las line...!!

1:29 PM  
Blogger Anshul Agrawal said...

i'm thinking that what will happen if the Project CD gets replaced by a Basic Instinct CD ???? ;)

7:16 PM  
Blogger Adarsh said...

wah wah,.....
mummy aur beete zamaane ki 'gaali' :P
kya kehne....
part II mein dekhenge ki 'K' kitna aage pahucha hai :P

1:41 AM  
Blogger shweta said...

nice one dude!!!
shwets

3:48 PM  
Blogger Vandita said...

waah... soo reminds me of my coll ... hum toh gaali "style" se sunke bahut khush hote hain :D
esp jab mere do dost ek doosre ko pyaar se gaaliyaan de rahe hote hain :P lol
oh and it so reminds me of how much i always control myself abt not utterin the F word in my house...around my folks ... ive mastered the art of tactfully stoppin at "what the..."
anyways kool post...loved the last line and i wanna read more soon.

11:38 PM  
Blogger Di said...

haai yaar...kya baat yaad dila di...wasnt that the awesomest pgm on tv ever!!! Couldnt help smiling wide at the title song :) har episode dekhte the na!! :D

11:27 AM  
Blogger Thisisme said...

arre bilkul nostalgic kar diya re!!
i swear..meine bhi bahut ankur n gurbani dekha hai..tab jaakar moghli naseeb hota tha..and uske baad disney cartoons aate the..arnd 10-12 baje tak..alladin n what not..wah wah..kya sunday tha..fir raat ko surabhi..maza aa jaata tha! n i how i luvvved that title track of moghli....also ek aur cartoon aata tha..called Molu..ek penguin tha woh..haila..uska gaana aur bhi sweet tha..molu molu molu..!!!!!!!

3:38 PM  
Blogger Zee said...

you must be from some other era......we used to watch krishi darshan, chitrahaar, potli baba ki and he-man

10:42 PM  
Blogger Her said...

lol.. maajaa aa gaya bhai.. aur kuch yaad kar k jaldi likho plzzzzzzzzzzzz

10:46 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# coalesced

hehe!! thankoo bhaai!!

# siby

wo duck tales aur talespin..madam mahalingam!!! uff..wo gumshuda talaash kendra..sab yaad hai..ab rulaatega kya pagle!! :P

# gunj

thanx!! waise wait for the next post to get aal the usage of the holy word!! :)

# dumbum

yeahh!! meena and mitthu!! that was so cute..!! mowgli is special!! i luv them all.. :'(

# shabhankar

shhhh!! ye sab baate aise nahee bolte..apna bhi aisa hi plan hai kuchh lkein yaha nahee likha hu!! :D i am a gooood buoy u c!! :)

1:05 AM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# deepa

waah kya mast likha hai re tune!! mere ko mera bachpan bhi yaad dila diya..papa ke wallet se paise chori karta tha mai.hihaha..ice-cream khaane ke liye!! badee tabiyat se peeta gaya tha ek baar jab ..range haatho pakad liya gaya tha.!! [:D]

# itching 2 write

:D

# sumit

bhaau bhu...booowww bhaaau..!!! (oye baaki readers!! ye mere aur sumit ke beech ki baat hai tumhaare samajh me nahee aayegi :P)

# shaamm

thanx buddy

1:08 AM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# anshul

kahee picture ke baare me to nahee soch rahe ho naa!! raat ko sochna abhi nahee :P

# shweta

welcum!!

# vandita

haha sahee me ek baar i uttered the forbidden word infront of my li'l bro. u know what he did..he ran straight to mom and complained..!!
bahut kameena hai..

What the duck!! :P

# di

sahee me post likhte likhte mera keyboard kharaab ho gaya..itne aansu gire uspe..!! :P

# this is me

hehe!! molu mai bhi dekhta tha..bada cute tha..waise raat ko surabhi was a must-watch!!

# zee

ab 'zee'(tv) waalo ko doordarshan se kya waasta!! :/

# her

yeahh!! sure kal tak ek aur post taiyaar rahega maaidam!!

1:17 AM  
Anonymous sumit said...

bhai mere ko bhi samajh nahi aaya!!
tanik samjhay do....

2:50 PM  
Blogger Ashyta said...

Egxactly, hum sabki zindagi ki pehli gaali. Nostalgic. Same pinch. :)

5:11 PM  
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6:20 AM  

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