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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

GBF reporter!!

Read the previous post 'Aish-abhi ki shaadi' to extract full mazaa out of this post..and for those who have done the noble deed earlier- aaiye meherbaan.. :)

Hmfff!! I was about to call a press conference for reporting against Salman who called me 41 times!! Yes u heard it right melordd!! 41 times last night, threatening me to delete my previous post. Vivek was not much of a bother as he ran out of his coins in his 3rd attempt.
This piece of news was brought to you by our special GBF correspondent who was masquerading as a truck cleaner there at the dhaaba.( kya pucha “What’s GBF??” jis ghar me ghuse ho uska nameplate to padh liya karo ustaad!!)

Our reporter told us that Kaif has advised Vivek to replace the nameplate outside the new abhi-aish home with a nameplate reading "KAIF" in big bold letters. By the next morning they will find the window panes broken, walls painted black and the chaukidaar beaten up. The "Saathiyaa" boy gets all excited but suddenly all his excitement dies away as he sees a beefy well fed and well drunk Sardaara standing over him. (Sardar ji is the owner of the dhaba)

Sardaara : Oye bhott daaru chhaaan raha hai!! paise laaya hai naa..aaj poora udhaar chuka dena nahee to apne mukke se tere gaalo par pappi dunga...

Vivek :Eh..hheheh!! arey sardaar ji gussa nakko !! abhi cheque kaat ke deta hu ye....


Sardaara : Ooooooooye!!!!!!!!!!!! ( Sardar ji is in a Handpump-ukhaado mood) Aaj agar cheque KAATA to tere ko KAAT ke rakh dungaa....CASH laa

Vivek : (trembling and controlling his bladder-urge) Haa..uh.umm cash de dunga!! Pakka!! ..Oye kaifi jara wallet.....KAIFEE kahaa gayaa?????

(kaifee vanished in thin air with the soda ki bottle)

And then what do you think, sardar ki ne mukke se pappi li vivek ki??..heh!!.....pappi to chhodo Sardar ji's mukka and vivek's face collaborated to produce a XXX movie after that.

Next up the GBF reporter moved to the Pratiksha bungalow where all the action and ruckus was. A lady reporter of a popular news channel with a hoarse voice was reporting something..

" Dekhiye Sanjay aap dekh sakte hai kitni khoobsurati se laat maari gayee hai"

"Garima!! agar aap humey sun sakti hain to humaare darshako ko batayein ye sab hua kaise " (sanjay is in a jubilant mood)

"Dar asal humaare cameraman Abhishek bacchan ki car ke bilkul paas pahuch gayein aur phir wo photo lene ke liye car se latak liye, tabhi car ke aage ka darwaaza khula aur humaare camera man ke pichhwaade par ek zordaar laat padee"

"Kaun se joote pehne the laat maarne waale ne, kuchh pata chala hai garima!!" sanajay is pleasantly surprised.

"Haan sanjay !! ye hum aap ko latest tasveere dikhaa rahein hai..ye dekhiye ye hai camera man ka pichhwaada ..aur ye rahe joote ke nishaan..badee hi khoobsurati se laat maari hai"

"Dikhne se ye 10 number ka joota lag raha hai!! aur itni mardana laat masha-allaah abhishek bacchan ki hi ho sakti hai "( sanjay is all excited)

"Haan sanjay humey kaafi khushi ho rahee hai ki ye exclusive laat sirf humaare cameraman ko padee.." This is a proud moment in Garima's life.

"Chaliye garima aap line par bane rahiye..hum aapke paas dobaara aayenge *click* Aap dekh rahe hai A*j T*k bharat ka sabse tez channel"

(A reader smirks: abey shaane channel ka naam kyu chhupa raha hai!! .Kon sa tera blog TOI me chhapta hai jo tere pe case thokega channel ka maalik . hurrr!!)

Oye maamu !! GBF scoop :

Richard gere kissed shilpa to prove to the truck drivers that " Chumma lene se AIDS nahee failta.."

An irate truck driver: " Oye aire-gere!! kanpatte par Thappad bajaane se bhi AIDS nahee failta..kabhi aana dhaabe pe bataaunga.!! "

Byee.. :)

Labels:

164 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger siby said...

"Chumma lene se AIDS nahee failta."
"Vivek was not much of a bother as he ran out of his coins in his 3rd attempt."
"By the next morning they will find the window panes broken, walls painted black and the chaukidaar beaten up."
too good :)

7:44 PM  
Blogger Shubhankar said...

hahahahah...sahi post hai maamu..!!! :P
ulti desh hai humara...matinee XXX dekhne ke liye unkil logon ki line lag jaati hai...par kisi ne shipa shetty ko chummi kya de di...hum tho bade shareef ban gaye..!! :P

PS: Kaif has become quite an expert at disappearing in a real hurry na (He has practiced for the same as much as he could on the field.>!! :D )

7:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kissi karne se AIDS nahi failta par PYAR to failta hai ;) [aisa shabana azmi ne ek commercial mein bola tha!]..par ye duniya[including GBF reporter!] hamesha se pyar ki dushman rahi hai..uff!

Ab humare viveik ko hi dekh lo.. na aish mili na CASH :P ..mili to bas zaalim dhaabewali ki gaali aur gaal pe taali :P!

And kuch vishwasneeya sutro dwara ye pata chala hai ki laat abhishek ne nahi kisi aur ne maari thi kyonki abhishek peeche wali seat par tha :P .. iski chhan been jaari hai ;)

P.S-Nameplate wo bande dekhte hain jo main door se entry lete hain :P ..hum tuchch log khidkiz se kaam chala lete hain :P!

-Deepa![punjabi,not keralite kiristan!] :P

10:22 PM  
Blogger Abhi said...

abbe pakistani bomb , imagination ke ghodo ko khulla chod ke mast daudata hai tu ! :).Vivek oberoi ka tho pata nahi , but i am looking forward to more sequels of the shaadi episode

12:43 AM  
Blogger The Indian Frog said...

Aaj ki media ne khabaro ka jo mazaak banaya hai, us pe mast kataaksh hai ye ..
KATAAKSH bole to .. sorry yaar bhool gaya

viveik ki itne mat maar ki wo dubara movies mein nahe aa paye ..

1:16 AM  
Blogger sushant said...

kissi se aids nahi failta par aisi adult baatein karne se aids fail jaata hai. sahi mein.

this was the most hilarious post i've read. keep em coming

3:18 PM  
Blogger gunj said...

lol
funny again:d
but last one was any day much better!
choose a new topic nw
enuff of d bachan tamasha

9:34 PM  
Blogger Revathi said...

HILARIOUS!! chakaas post tha!!:)

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Thisisme said...

:)) :)) sahi hai!!
mast reporting thi GBF walon ki :D:D

3:10 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# siby

hehe!! oye kaha hai tu! online aa!!

# shubhankar

arey asla me sab log isliye gussa hai kyuki...saala koi DESI maai ka laal to kiss nahee kar paaya shilpa behen ko..saala ek firangi buddha kar gaya.. apna haath jagannaath isi desh ki kahaawat hai :P

# Anonymous arora

oye sonia vadra!! tune to post likh daala re..comment ke roop me..blogging ke gande bazaar me apna bhi ek thela lagaa le.. mere jaise bhot saare velle aayenge!!!

# abhi

Oye tara rum piyum (sanskrit for tera Rum piyunga) :P
abey lekin unn ghodo ko chaabuk tere post hi maarte hai..tu bhi likhta reh apun bhi chhapta rahega..:P

11:00 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# Ghazi

abey tension mat le..!! ye kataaksh sirf apan sab padhenge!!hai ki nahee..sabaash aise hi kaat ta reh!!

# sushant

:) kisi se mat kahiyo..apna secret hai ye..samjha!! mai to khoob saari adult baatein karunga iss blog par..aids faile to faile apna kya jaata hai...bas tu saavdhan rahiyo!!

# gunj (ekkko)

bhelcum!! pichhla post jyada pasand aaya..roz sunday nahee hota naa dear!!! aur likhunga..nahee acha lage to gaali bak bak ke jeena haraam kar dena mera!!

# revathi

thankooo!! :P

# this is me

GBF eporting!! aye aye sir!! :P

# garam bheja fry..

oops!! ye to mai hi hu..heheh!! :P

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bade comment se inni aapatti! hmph!
And agar maine thela laga liya tere baaju mein,to kai dukaanz lutt jayengi,barbaad ho jayengi :P ...tension mat le! kidding hoon re!On serious note,dukan kholni is ezee but bijness tuff hai..bole to blog maintain karna is tuff..so,some othr time,Dude ;) :P!

-Deepa!

6:40 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

arey yaara aisee baat nahee hai tera comment to abhinav ke comment se bhi jyada phunny hai iss page par..apun raavan jaisa hasaa tera comment padh ke..!! mazaa aaya aise hi comment karte reh!! apne products meri dukaan se hi bech le!! :P

7:00 PM  
Blogger Adarsh said...

"aire-gere" ... ROTFL :)))))
too much post.... and ultimate ending... he he.... :)))

1:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ailaaa..humour guru se compare mat kar! and tu dukan chala maze se,mujhe grahak hi rehne de..wo bhi JAGRUK wala grahak :P
Cheerz!
-Deepa!

2:27 PM  
Blogger Anshul Agrawal said...

"Haan sanjay humey kaafi khushi ho rahee hai ki ye exclusive laat sirf humaare cameraman ko padee.." This is a proud moment in Garima's life."

Hey mast likha hai re... tune ek baar phir media aur news channel walon ki le li hai...

Boss tujhe yeh sab idea aate kahan se hain... You should actually become a professional writer...

4:22 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# anshul

haha!! abhi to mai ek kamsin kali hoon is blogging ke badnaam baazaar me..:P kuchh dino tak yahee chhapunga..phir aage dekhenge..

keep visting sire!!

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