Abhi-aish ki shaadi!!- UPDATE

Hi Bhaai log!! When people read the story which I shamelessly advertised in my last post, they said they had to hire a full time servant to scroll down the page for them to read. Such was the length. And some of the other gracious, Allaah ke bande did take the pains to read till the last line and after reading it they thanked their parents, friends and coach after reaching the milestone with tears in their eyes.

"Oye chaman , bore mat karr !! shaadi ke baare me bata!" I can hear an impatient reader shout.

Haan bhaai to scene aisa ki :

Date : 20th April

( 1st scene : Salman sulking in a bar with his girl friend (who has thrown her heel waali sandals in the Arabian sea for obvious reasons) Katrina kaif alongside.

2nd scene: Vivek oberai in a Highway hotel with truck waalas around him praising Shilpa shetty's "Pappee me bhi happy" attitude.
Now if Salman is with Katrina kaif then Vivek has Mohammad Kaif to accompany him. As both are jobless and equally vella. Dono apne gam galat kar rahe hai..

3rd scene: Small B riding on a ghodi and moto-rocking his head with about a million cameras zooming into his nostrils. About 3 tons of glam-sham has coagulated around him.)

1st scene:

Salman khan: Maine pyar kyu kiyaa?? *makes a weepy face* ye sab mere flop bhaaiyo ke kaaran hua hai. Tumhe pata hai Jin logo ko maine last year footpath par kuchla tha naa. baad me pata chala wo mere bhaaiyo ki films ke distributor the kisi jamaane me"

Katrina kaif : " Namh-a-stay london..err..i mean Salmon!! The same applies to you dear. During the screening of your latest movie Salaam-e-ishq, fire alarms were installed in cinema theaters to wake people up after the show was over.."

Salman khan : "Cheque ladki...meri izzat ka Maaza-mango banati hai...teri *beeeep*.."

Katrina : "Just chill buddy...and that IS Czech ..NOT cheque..and btw Himess has called me for a screen-test to cast me in "Aap ka Suuar".. "

Salman : "*Beeep* *Meep* WO SUROOR hai...SUAR nahee *Leep*"


2nd scene :

(some line hotel (dhaaba) forming the backdrop..Truck drivers guffawing in the vicinity...Vivek and Kaif sitting on a charpai with soda and cheap daaru)

Vivek oberai : "Aao Kaifi!! Lays ka packet laaye ho naa saath me??"

Kaif : "Yaar kaahe ka lays , gone are those days..ab to lizzat papad khaata hoon.."

Vivek oberai : " Apna bhi kuch aisa hi haal hai dost, Ek time tha ‘Saathiyaa’ aur aaj ban gaya hu ch***ya....bahut galat cheez hai yaar ye"

Kaif : " kya?? cricket??"

Vivek :"Abey 1 1/2 haddi cricket nahee...ladkiyaa, unse pyar,muhabbat..phir dhokhaa, rusvaayee, Tanh......"

Kaif : "Chaupp!! Saale bore mat kar..jaldi se bottle khol maine bhi paise milaaye hai"

Vivek " haa yaar kholta hu....aaj meri mehbooba ki shaadi hai 2-3 peg jyada peene dena dost.."

Kaif : " Abey KBC me baitha hai kya be?? Jo fokut me tere ko khush karu....daaru baraabar bategi nahee to be mar peet ho jaayegi"

( Two truck waalas talk as they go past kaifee and vivek " Pehle pappee phir pappa (papa) khehekhe!!". they are referring to Richard gere's future plans. Truck drivers adore shilpa but i am uncertain whether they would be able to recognize her, if given a passport size photo :p )

And they drink and munch on lizzat papad equally.


3rd scene :

Aby baby is moto-rocking on the ghodi and suddenly a text message flashes on his cellphone. Here’s the message..

" Yaar Ask aish baby to wear a lip-stick of a different brand. That would be better for you."

aby replies: "Who's this!! And why do you want her to go for some other brand??"

Reply: " Actually this one doesn't taste good khekhe!! ;) - Hrithik & Chandrachood"

Aby baby throws the cell phone in a fit of rage. It hits Anil ambani who's all jubilant at a distance. He picks it up. Your question Guess the network?? :)

Update : Some of the readers have pointed out that there was no mention of haya-khan-janhvi -kapoor in this post. So i make a point by telling you guys that the haya-khan part was sponsored by Salman khan and the janhvi kapoor part by karishma kapoor, both for obvious reasons. :)