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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Abhi-aish ki shaadi!!- UPDATE

Hi Bhaai log!! When people read the story which I shamelessly advertised in my last post, they said they had to hire a full time servant to scroll down the page for them to read. Such was the length. And some of the other gracious, Allaah ke bande did take the pains to read till the last line and after reading it they thanked their parents, friends and coach after reaching the milestone with tears in their eyes.

"Oye chaman , bore mat karr !! shaadi ke baare me bata!" I can hear an impatient reader shout.

Haan bhaai to scene aisa ki :

Date : 20th April

( 1st scene : Salman sulking in a bar with his girl friend (who has thrown her heel waali sandals in the Arabian sea for obvious reasons) Katrina kaif alongside.

2nd scene: Vivek oberai in a Highway hotel with truck waalas around him praising Shilpa shetty's "Pappee me bhi happy" attitude.
Now if Salman is with Katrina kaif then Vivek has Mohammad Kaif to accompany him. As both are jobless and equally vella. Dono apne gam galat kar rahe hai..

3rd scene: Small B riding on a ghodi and moto-rocking his head with about a million cameras zooming into his nostrils. About 3 tons of glam-sham has coagulated around him.)

1st scene:

Salman khan: Maine pyar kyu kiyaa?? *makes a weepy face* ye sab mere flop bhaaiyo ke kaaran hua hai. Tumhe pata hai Jin logo ko maine last year footpath par kuchla tha naa. baad me pata chala wo mere bhaaiyo ki films ke distributor the kisi jamaane me"

Katrina kaif : " Namh-a-stay london..err..i mean Salmon!! The same applies to you dear. During the screening of your latest movie Salaam-e-ishq, fire alarms were installed in cinema theaters to wake people up after the show was over.."

Salman khan : "Cheque ladki...meri izzat ka Maaza-mango banati hai...teri *beeeep*.."

Katrina : "Just chill buddy...and that IS Czech ..NOT cheque..and btw Himess has called me for a screen-test to cast me in "Aap ka Suuar".. "

Salman : "*Beeep* *Meep* WO SUROOR hai...SUAR nahee *Leep*"


2nd scene :

(some line hotel (dhaaba) forming the backdrop..Truck drivers guffawing in the vicinity...Vivek and Kaif sitting on a charpai with soda and cheap daaru)

Vivek oberai : "Aao Kaifi!! Lays ka packet laaye ho naa saath me??"

Kaif : "Yaar kaahe ka lays , gone are those days..ab to lizzat papad khaata hoon.."

Vivek oberai : " Apna bhi kuch aisa hi haal hai dost, Ek time tha ‘Saathiyaa’ aur aaj ban gaya hu ch***ya....bahut galat cheez hai yaar ye"

Kaif : " kya?? cricket??"

Vivek :"Abey 1 1/2 haddi cricket nahee...ladkiyaa, unse pyar,muhabbat..phir dhokhaa, rusvaayee, Tanh......"

Kaif : "Chaupp!! Saale bore mat kar..jaldi se bottle khol maine bhi paise milaaye hai"

Vivek " haa yaar kholta hu....aaj meri mehbooba ki shaadi hai 2-3 peg jyada peene dena dost.."

Kaif : " Abey KBC me baitha hai kya be?? Jo fokut me tere ko khush karu....daaru baraabar bategi nahee to be mar peet ho jaayegi"

( Two truck waalas talk as they go past kaifee and vivek " Pehle pappee phir pappa (papa) khehekhe!!". they are referring to Richard gere's future plans. Truck drivers adore shilpa but i am uncertain whether they would be able to recognize her, if given a passport size photo :p )

And they drink and munch on lizzat papad equally.


3rd scene :

Aby baby is moto-rocking on the ghodi and suddenly a text message flashes on his cellphone. Here’s the message..

" Yaar Ask aish baby to wear a lip-stick of a different brand. That would be better for you."

aby replies: "Who's this!! And why do you want her to go for some other brand??"

Reply: " Actually this one doesn't taste good khekhe!! ;) - Hrithik & Chandrachood"

Aby baby throws the cell phone in a fit of rage. It hits Anil ambani who's all jubilant at a distance. He picks it up. Your question Guess the network?? :)

Update : Some of the readers have pointed out that there was no mention of haya-khan-janhvi -kapoor in this post. So i make a point by telling you guys that the haya-khan part was sponsored by Salman khan and the janhvi kapoor part by karishma kapoor, both for obvious reasons. :)

Labels:

18 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger Shubhankar said...

hahahaha...ROTFl..!!!

ulti post hai maamu... great idea this...of having *beep*s & *meeps*..maybe mujhe bhi try karna chahiye..!!! :P

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haye rabba..no mention of janvi-haya-kapoor-khan-watever!!

kuchh seekh ishtar newj aur aajtak walon se!

-Deepa!

11:26 PM  
Blogger Thisisme said...

hahahahha..sahi hai :)) bechare salmon n vivek ke jale par namak ragad rahe ho :))

12:25 AM  
Blogger The Indian Frog said...

eh heyy !!
aish aby, kitna glamourise kara hai wedding ko already ..
aisa lag raha tha ki shaadi nahe
INDEPENDENCE DAY hai ..
poora bharat dekh raha tha full day ..
kuch shilpa ke baare mein bhe likh de..GERE ne kaha hai ..

1:14 AM  
Blogger siby said...

heheheh, sahi likha hai yaar!!
specially the "aap ka suuar" & "beep meep" part. :)

1:47 AM  
Blogger Adarsh said...

May God ji bless karihe chhora aur 2 u se 2 saal badi chhori ko.... bhagwaan kare unke gol-matol bachwan hoye :P
Jai ho

1:51 AM  
Blogger Revathi said...

bole to mast post tha!!:)
just stumbled across ur blog and dude u r hilarious!!couldnt stop laughing after reading ur blog!!

9:04 PM  
Blogger Aparna Kar said...

Holy Christ! LMAO..
I don't remember laughing so loud for a long time.. you just made me split my sides..

And Sallu n VivIek k jale pe namak nahi.. yeh sulphuric acid tha..

11:11 PM  
Blogger Juggy said...

Damn!! I am ROTFL!!
U rock dude!! :)
Nice entries all the way!! Enjoyed reading ur blog!! :)

12:15 AM  
Blogger COALESCED said...

Jiyo jawan!! Naam roshan kiye ho!!

12:41 AM  
Blogger Sayesha said...

Mast likha re! Sash Bhai khush hua! Chal is hafte ka hafta maaf! :D

6:48 AM  
Blogger itchingtowrite said...

good one,,, cudn't stop laughing
sandals throws away ha ha

12:00 PM  
Blogger Anshul Agrawal said...

hey, sahi post hai re... i'm nt able to control my laughter... :))

waise tune Salman n Vivek ki to le li hai...

1:15 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# shubhankar

saabaas ab to tu bhi seekh gaya saale *beeep* :P. royalty ke paise bhej diyo. :D

# deepa anonymous

Aisa lag raha hai koi kerelite christian ka naam hai. :D

oye puttar!! Jahnvi kapoor ko karishma kapoor ne bheja tha. aur Haya khan ko salman khan ne. both for obvious reasons. hehe!! samjhi??

# this is me

Nam-ah-stay london!! hehe londonwaali ho aap..:)

Everest ka tadka ang ang phadka!! wo waali mirch mali hai..hehe

# the indian frog

Haa yaar!! paagal ho gaye hai saale...velle!! waise GERE tharki hai!! :P

1:23 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# siby

Thanks for visiting buddy!! :)

# adarsh

haa yaar hum bhi yahee manawat hai..aur ye bhi manaate hai ki dono gol matol bacche abhishek ke hi ho..hehheh!! :D

# revathi

thanks for visiting!!! :) and welcum here!

# Aparna kar

Welcum jee!! sulphuric acid me 2 kilo Everest ka teekhalal mirchi powder milaa ke bade pyaar se mala hai dono ke upar..:P

# coalesced

thankoo!! :)

# sayesha

A lo!! mai apni dukaan chala raha tha kone me aaj bhaai ne pakad liya.!! :O iss baar to hafta maf kar diya ...next time to dena hoga..buhuhuhuhu!! :((

# itching to write

hehe!! thankoo..dosto ko bhi bhejna ye waali..!! :)

# anshul

thanks jee!! keep visting for more such pieces!! :)

1:40 PM  
Blogger Zee said...

abhi kahani khatam nahin hui.......we want to know more....

3:21 PM  
Blogger siby said...

Counter bekaboo ho gaya hai, roko usse ;)

7:14 PM  
Blogger gunj said...

lol lol lol....
damn funny
before i began to read d update i was bout to chuk it n comment dat with all those 24*7 news channels...do u think ppl need ur update??but thankgod i read another line n eventually d whole post n right nw i cant stop louffin!!
:))
cant evn think of 1 witty thing to say coz m so busy louffin hardaa nw!!:))
we sure need such updates!!:d

9:20 PM  

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