Saboot gawaah aur ....Tinaa - VIII

*This is the last part in a series of 8 posts. Scroll down to the end of this page and start from the 1st part*

And then the ultimate gawaah arrives. Vijay and his parents are gasping...The man himself..The principle of the college where Vicky and Vijay ..err..study(?). The principle saab looks like the brand ambassador err Qualis of keo-karpin with the amount of oil applied in his hair. Experts tell me that the oil is enough to cook 3 full plates of bheja fry. and i say to the experts keo-karpin me agar bhejafry banaaoge uncle!!..apne chacha ji ko khilana wo.

Nevertheless principle saab is a god fearing person and has all the "roolshh and regyulayshnn" of the college written on a chit of paper which is kept safely in a "chor pocket" stitched over his undie. (This summer he is planning to get all the "R n Rs" tattooed over his navel).

So principle saab is in the 'katghara'.and saeed jaffrey clears his throat to shoot questions at the shooter (academician) himself.

"Haa to principle saahib!! aap adaalat ko bataaiye ki aap 16 deesambar ki subah 11 baj kar 35 minute aur 26 second par kya kar rahe the..bataaiye janaab!!"

" ( two drops of oil trickle down his head as he thinks hard) ..Jee mai apne office me baith kar apni naak ka ekatteeeswa baal noch raha tha.."

"Objection melorddd!! principle saab ke naak ke baal nochne se iss case ka koi taalluk nahee hai.." bleats Saleem (kumar gaurav)..

Saeed : "TAALLLUK HAI MELORDDD!!!!..Meri daleelo ka iss case se utna hi gehra talluk hai jitna ki raju ke motiyo jaise daanto ka taalluk dabur laal dunt manjan se hai"

The audience cackles and the judge growls "order!! order !! " (these two are simultaneous reactions..aren't they..kemistry me padha tha!!)

Now Mr. jaffrey turns to the princi "Iska matlab ye huaa ki aap apne college me maujood the...point to be noted melordd...acha kya aap bata sakte hai ki mere muvakkil aur aapke kaalij ke honahaar isshtudent Vicky singh uss wakt kaalij me maujood the yaa nahee??"

Silence in the hall.

An assistant rushes to the katghara where the colg principle is standing , with a long notebook in his hand...the assistant tries to show something to the bade master ji.

And then the princi breaks the silence " Kaalij ke Attendanshh regishter ke mutaabik (he adjusts his specs) vicky baba 11 deesambar ki subah apni padhaai me mashroof the.."

Then he hands over the register to Mr. saeed jaffrey , who in turn raises it for the judge saahib to have a look and grant his approval.

"Ye raha wo saboot me lordd jisse iss case ka pardafaash ho jaayega..ye raha wo attendanshh regishter jispar mere muvakkil ke begunaahi ki Present lagi huyee hai"

There is a hushed silence in the adaalat. Then suddenly…

"Ye jhooth hai judge saab!!!" a girl screams her lungs out from the spectators gallery. 'arey ye to tina hai' people squeak.

"Aapko jo kuch bhi kehna hai katghare me aake kahiye." Judge saab wants to have a "good look".

Tina : " Judge saab uss din vicky college me present nahee tha..ek din pehle hi maine uski wahshi aankho me zism ki bhookh dekhi thi.."

"Adalat jazbaat nahee saboot mangti hai saahiba..aapke paas kya saboot hai"

" Jee saboot to..nahee hai..magar......"

Saeed jaffrey cuts her short:" Judge saab ye kya bataayegi ye to khud hi ek nihaayat hi awaara aur badchalan aurat hai...Iske to rangeen kaarnaamo ke kisse naamcheen magazines me chhapte hai.."

Judge saab fishes deeper "Wo magazines adaalat ke saamne pesh kiye jaaye"
And then mr jaffrey hands over a bundle to the judge.

"Adalat inn magazines ko ache se examine karegi..*Ahem* "
The right wala attendant winks at the left guy.

Enraged by the public maligning of his maashooka Vijay jumps the barricade and tries to get hold of saeed jaffrey..

"Kameeene jaffrey!! aaj main teri wo haalat karunga jise dekh kar ye blogger darr ke maare spirituality aur political issues par likhna shuru kar dega!!"

The police kaanstables clutch him as he tries to cripple Mr. jaffrey as well as the readership of this blog. (Come on yaar!! spirituality mere liye aise maano bandar ke haath me ipod.)

"Ye adaalat ki tauheen hai !!!" judge saab roars.

And then some more 'saboot and gawaaho ke bayaanaat' later the judge announces the result

"*Ahem* Tamaam sabooto aur gawaaho ko maddenazar rakhte huye.adaalat ne ye paaya hai ki mulzim vicky singh par lagaaye gaye saare aarop jhoothe aur bebuniyaad hai. aur iss wajah se adaalat Mr vicky singh ko Baa-Izzat bari karti hai"

"naheeeeeeeeeeeeee" and vjay's mum faints..

"kutttttttttttteyyy....." and vijay breaks free..

"Tinaaaaahhh...." the two attendants on either side of the judge sigh...

" kya hua bhai..." Saleem (Kumar gaurav) wakes up..!!

"Cheeyarsshh....." Ranjeet singh and group raise a toast.

I hope the judge means to say baa-izzat 'bury' instead of bari. :)

.....and hey I am off to Chennai for the final project demonstration. c ya ppl. Engineering life ka aakhiri maheena. :’(