Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Making... - III

The scene shifts to the grand hostel-bathroom, with an array of cubicles. (The same bathroom has been rechristened to a call centre now) The hirsute extras supposed to be the students are irrigating their bushy chest hair under the shower. The Lifebuoy lather acts as a fertilizer to the cultivation. Nearly all the cubicles are occupied and queues have lined up.

The striped "kachhaa" clad brats are still ignorant of the fact that wearing jockey is the next best thing to be naked. For the poor and innocent souls it still is an "aaraam kaa maamla hai" and for the few other shy guys "ye andar kii baat hai".

The official bad boy Vicky (Mohneesh behl) has arrived with his friends for a "social bath". Apna chandu,(the bespectacled fatso) who looks like the son of Bappi lahiri is waiting for his turn to hit the shower.

The wicked gang nears the queue, and Vicky picks up chandu's towel from his shoulder and blows his nose into it and returns the towel. Chandu is furious deep down but he's looking as pissed as Irfan pathan.
This is how Vicky and gang has been instructed to have fun. The bad boy is High five-ing the other members of the gang. The bathroom is echoing with their cackle.

Nandu readjusts his 2kg lens. He gathers courage to speak against vicky.

"Vicky tumne ye mere saath theek nahee kiyaa!! tumne dobaara aisa kuchh kiyaa to ACHAA NAHEE HOGAA!!"

"Abey Munceepaalti ke gandee naali ke Suar !! Saale jab mai sandaass se baahar nilkalta hu to tere jaise 50 haraamkhor mera pichhwaada chaatne aa jaate hai. Aur chaat ke aisa saaf karte hai ki dhone ki bhi jaroorat nahee padti!!"

(sandass= toilet, pichhwaada= posterior)

And then in a fit of anger he slaps him hard. Chandu's specs hit the floor.
"Mera chashma !! Mera chashma.." he wails. Without the specs he is as blind as a bat with cataract.

"Chashma chahiye tujhe!! saale Tere baap ne chashma nahee pehna tha time par isiliye tu paida ho gaya!!"
his friends guffaw. They kick around with his specs. Chandu is on his knees wailing and chasing the clinks of his glasses. Then in a Ronaldinho feat vicky sends the specs flying in the air. A "hairy magar solid haath" catches the specs. He is here. The MAN.

" Vickeeeeeeeeeee!! Tu wo khujli waala kutta hai jo sirf sadak par Cycle chalaane waalo ko kaata karta hai, lekin jab tujh jaisaa kutta kisi truck se takraata hai to uska anjaam kyaa hota hai...wo main ab tujhe bataaunga"

And he jumps and then what follows leads Bruce lee and Newton to play Daandiya with each other up there in heaven. "Beaten to a pulp" would be a gross understatement to describe Vicky's condition.

All of them are now facing the "college ke principal" who knows all the boys by their first names ( I don't know how he remembers) . He says

"Shayyyyme on you!!! Tumhe pata hai humaare college ki iss sheher me bahut izzat hai, rutbaa hai. Tumne iss college ke Dissepleene aur Roolshh and regulayshann ko todaa hai.Tumhe iski sajaa milegi...Vijay aur vicky mai tum dono ko One month Sushpension!! deta hu"

Vijay: "Magar principal saab meri baat to sun....."

"Mujhe tumhaaree koi baat nahee sun ni hai..the Disheejan is laasht and final..Mai aisee gushtaakhiyaa bardaasht nahee kar sakta"

Vijay comes out all heavy hearted..He thinks of his dukhiyaaree maa and his bin byaahee behen..

Vicky comes out enraged...and he thinks about Vijay's bin byaahee behen too...A Hot and spicy vengeance is on the cards...( the front benchers in the theater wake up adjacent persons and are all rubbing their palms together in anticipation with knees together )

Tina is feeling sorry for Vijay and Anuradha paudwal is clearing her throat now. The swiss alps beckon the love birds. The movie is set up..:)

To be Continued....( hehe!! gaali mat do yaaro..agli baar khatam kar dunga Maa kasam :D )


14 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger Di said...

itniii lambi story?! hmm..par lagtha hain wo Mohneesh Behl ke dialogues came straight from ur brain rather than bollywood!! ;)lage raho...

1:06 PM  
Blogger Ragamuffin said...

gud that the movie hasn't ended...waiting for 'that' scene...
too many funny one liners..loved it!

2:25 PM  
Blogger Adarsh said...

ab bas last ki dhishum-dhishum .... lekin boodhe baap ka kya hua .... kuch suicide etc daal yaar.... tab na hero ko acche se gussa aayega :D

good going.....

12:58 PM  
Blogger accidental diva said...

Hilarious...loved the dialogues, waiting to read about what happens next:):):)

10:03 PM  
Anonymous taks said...

wah ustaad wah. kya dialogues likhe hain !! lajaawab.
aur haan, fillum jaldi mein khatam karne ki zaroorat nahi hai, yaar :-) ... aur 1-2 episode jaroor rakhna ... don't end it too soon !
waise, maine iss fillum ke agli show ke ticket bhi book kar liye hain ... repeat-value solid hai,yaar !

1:58 AM  
Blogger dharmu said...

next part peelleessee

2:06 AM  
Blogger Something to Say said...

yaar humne bhi kaafi vicky and vijay wali movies dekhi hain - par aise dialogues bas yahin hai... maa kasam! :)

2:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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10:51 AM  
Blogger Penguin said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:48 AM  
Blogger Penguin said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Penguin said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Penguin said...

well i am back too ...ghar se aake me feeling homesick.............argh how i hate this place..
so hows new year going on for you?

btw nice posts..tum director ban jaao..bollywood me kuch fresh dekhne ko to milega :D

so u joining wipro or might have already joined... welcome to the hell called IT world...

9:13 AM  
Blogger shubhu said...

wooow....shabash bro...saare talent ubhar k saamne aa rahe hain.. (story, dialogue, cinematography,.. and direction)..achchha hota agar gaane k lyrics bhi hote (all time fav SAMEER type)..hee hee:)

11:08 AM  
Blogger cardamom said...

# di

Saare dialogues humaare chote se brain se hi nikle hai...:)

# ragamuffin

Your wait is over dude..:)

# adarsh

your wish is my command!!! ab hero ko gussa aa gaya hai...

# Accidental diva

yeahh so here i present to you..the 4th part...keep visiting :)

# taks

arey apan dono baithenge yaar front bench par...mazaa aayega!!! aur kahaani to chal rahee hai abhi..

# dharmu

Aa gayaa next part aa gaya!!!


Maa kasam mazaa aa gaya..aap aaya karo more often..aur mazaa aayega!!

# penguin

I am gonna join wipro this may!! abhi to mai fresher huuu year is a bit like filmy drama..that explains these posts..

# shubhu

thanks bhaai! Rape scene aa gaya...koodo!!

3:28 AM  

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