Monday, January 29, 2007

Akela Vijay kitne ke barabar hai -V

Aag hi Aag as vijay promised...(burnol laaye ho naa uncle!!). Vijay is overwhelmed with the "badle ki aag". Baauji proved to be a sapere kaa saanp and hence ended up in the ICU fighting his "Zindagi aur maut ke beech ki ladaai" as the bespectacled Doctor puts it. Dukhiyaare maa is sure to be bathing in glycerin for the amount of tears she sheds (unit is Lps liters per second).

As pyaari behena's pyre disappears in flames in the foreground, the camera focuses on the ‘Tide safed kurta pyjama’ clad Vijay in the background. He stands there with a lump in his throat and tear dried eyes. He is burning inside. And guess who is there to console him.

"Dil me hai khudaai, haath me kalam,
Allaah ka banda wo, Naam hai Aslam "

( I was so tempted to add a maa kasam in the end :D )

Aslam chacha,(Shafi inaamdaar) a 40+, calm and level headed wise man of shanti nagar. He is the secular face of the movie. Whenever the camera focuses on him you can hear an ajaan in the background. He is a five time namaajee. He speaks a shade thicker urdu and is an accomplished author.
He has at least 10 sher-o-shayari books to his name which are sold by the 10-15 yr old boys in local trains and buses along with other notable titles like Jeeja-saali jokes, kamsin jawaani, Mastram to name a few.
(Ab pata chala naa kyu hai uske "haath me kalam")

Everybody respects the words of Aslam chacha.And so he says to vijay:

" Vijay!! Mai tumhaare dil ka haal bakhoobi samajh sakta huu..lekin jazbaat ki aandhi me koi aisa koi kadam mat uthaana...Allaah in darindo ko aisee maut bakshega jisey dekh kar inki roohey bhi kaanp uthengi"

Vijay explodes "Aslam Chachaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Alllaaaah ne mujhe chuna hai inn kutto ko maut dene ke liye..apni behen ke aansu ki ek ek boond ka badla, Inke khoon ko pee kar chukaayega Vijay"

Ooops dengue ke mosquitoes ke liye competition!! Vijay is obviously fed up with the cola wars and wants to drink something Manly. (Food for thought : kyaa khoon peene se bhi HIV transmit hota hai..chumma lene se to nahee hota..itna to pata hai :D ).

Elsewhere In the girls hostel Tina is somber, But she is still unsure, whether she should pay a visit to Vijay’s dad in the 'I See You' or not. She is sitting near the window resting her head on her stretched arm. Her sahelies gather around. This is what I call the "Saheli act" . One of the saheli with the longest choti speaks up

" Tina !! ye tum kyaa kar rahee ho!! In mushkil haalaato me vijay ko tumhaaree sakht zaroorat hai!! Agar tum use samhaalogi nahee to wo toot jaayega"

2nd saheli : "Iodex aur Pyaar ke malham se koi bhi chot theek ho jaati hai"

3rd : "Itni patthardil mat bano Tina. Tumhaare dil aur vijay ke Biceps me koi farak nahee reh gaya hai"

Tina is unflinched, coz she has her ears plugged into the cricket commentary for the Ranji trophy match between goa and haryana. Yet she can guess what her friends want her to do. And so she jumps into her song-n-dance outfits. But the front benchers in the theater have their fists clenched and lips bitten. So ab to maar peet hi hogii.

Vijay and Aslam chacha head for the police station. This was Aslam chacha's idea who instructed vijay earlier " kaanoon ko apne haath me mat lo"....

2 madhumakhhi continued....


58 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger COALESCED said...

Still continued!!!![:O]

Yaar chihattar post karoge kya 90's ke movies pe?!?!?
Mast raha bhai!!!
And am also thinking ki khoon pine se HIV sankraman tou nahi hoga!!!

11:03 PM  
Blogger shubhu said...

wow...simply wow...i really really wish this goes on and on.... seedhi takkar salim-javed se hai bhai....

1:21 AM  
Blogger itchingtowrite said...

Ooops dengue ke mosquitoes ke liye competition!! LOL
and LOL - to madhumakkhi continued...
keep it coming

10:49 AM  
Blogger Adarsh said...

"kya khoon peene se HIV transmit hota hai"
he he he he he he he he he he
hoo-haa question !!!
he he he he he he he he he he
lage raho

5:41 PM  
Blogger Ragamuffin said...

khoon pene se AIDS nahi hota...kyunki agar aisa hota toh DRACULA bhaisaab mar gaye hote...
Y didnt u describe the mastraam stories in detail??? ;D

12:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Blog ! Keep Blogging. Plz do visit for for your relevant comments.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Di said...

continued?!! and i thought i wrote long posts!! I wonder no one during the entire 80's era realised that the dialogues and movies were so blurry predictable!!

6:12 PM  
Blogger Neers said...

ABHI!!! you are at it again... and wth all that is goin wrong around... ths place is hilarious!!! :)too cool!

10:14 AM  
Blogger Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Tell me... were you actually hired by someone when you were 2 years old to write scripts for them?

Iss daastaan ka raaz kya hai?

1:21 PM  
Blogger Khozem F Sahiwala said...

Plz do visit my blog as

for ur relevant comments.

2:06 PM  
Blogger cardamom said...

# coalesced

arey khoon peene ko to mai taiyaar hu...koi HIV infected aadmi to mile..

# shubhu

salim-javed blogging karte hai bhej yaar..

# itching to write

:) abhi thoda break liyaa hai..

# adarsh

hehe!! badaa tuf question hai bhaai..apne profs se poochna!!

# raga

dracula to maraa huaa hai already yaar...aur uske time par logo ko aids kaha hota tha yaar..socho socho

2:03 AM  
Blogger cardamom said...

# di

yep..correct u are!!

# neers

hi, long time no's good to see u here!!

# sudipta

sirjee!! iss daastaan ka raaz to humko bhi nahee pata..but 2 yrs ki age me i was writing Farex ad scripts!!

2:07 AM  
Blogger karthika said...

correct u r.....

Villu stills,songs

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