Gaagaa-googoo dayz!!

Bhaaiyozz and behenozz!! First of all reach out to that sparkling new button on your monitor which you have never used before and toggle to the colour-adjustment option and mercilessly keep pressing it till the colour-scale is equal to the number of girl-friends/boy-friends you have. (btw the persons who are reading this post on their Orpat ka bada calculator need not worry!!). Bilack & white feel laao maamu flashback ke pehle. Before i 'flush' back err run a flashback i want you to be a li'l serious and stop advertising your jaundiced teeth.

All readers in chorus "Saale , khud ko dekh tere daanto ko dekh ke aisa lagta hai poori yellow river pi gaya hai tu!!"

Nevermind, chalo ateet ki yaadon me. San Unneeess sau pacchhasee (1985) ki baat hai december ka sard zaalim maheena. A baby boy was ushered into this world at about 4 'o clock in the morning probably crying loud enough to piss off gabbar who resided some 50 miles away. After all it’s the momma's job to tell me that unless I kept quiet gabbar aa jaayega. That was the only occasion in these 21 years I woke up that early in the morning. Well months rolled by and I grew into a pretty normal kid who thought his thumb was god's candy and the soil in the backyard was Ben & jerry's raw material, so I hogged on it. Once I interacted with a sophisticated Huggies-model type kid when my mom took me to his place:

Me (to another hum-umr kid) : " oye tinku!! tune sharma jee ke lawn ki mitti khaayee kya..ohh kya chatpati hai yaar ..Waah!!"

tinku ( pareshaan hai bechara) : " Dude!! Get a life..lawn ki mitti is so LS.. I prefer my kitchen garden.."

me thinks ( saale badaa hoke tera diaper utaarunga apne blog pe..bada hero ban raha hai naa beta!!) "Waise yaar starters ke liye kya leta hai??..meri to kismat hi phooti hai..meri maa ne mere thumb pe mirchi mal dii....angoothe ko hontho tak laa ke reh jaata hu"

"OMG teri thumb pe mirchi mal di...mere thumb pe momma ne garlic spray maara hai..Gawd it stinks like hell.."

"kya kare yaar..ab to Dabar janam ghutti se hi kaam chalana padta hai…Saale mere ancestors bhi peete the same bottle se.."

"Oh you mean gripe water...Ahh well I prefer it shaken but not stirred."

"Oh.. ok..arey yaar mere ko chunnu bata raha tha ki huggies ke ad ke liye tere ko ek room me nanga daudaya tha??.." i chuckled

"..*cold sigh* ..yaar when u turn a professional you have to live with it....thoda expose to karna hi padta hai industry me bane rehne ke liye. u know"

"oye tinku ab mera poo-poo time ho gaya....door hat jaa"

"Gawd tu abhi bhi kapda use karta hai nappy ke liye....disgusting!!"

"uwaaaaaan uu uu uwaaaaaaaaaaaaan" I raised the alarm for my momma to clean up the mess.

Funny days were those. I used to toddle about the dining room and reach the kitchen to see momma cook, waiting anxiously for her to look and throw a endearing smile at me, and when she did, I would chuckle and clap my hands gaa-gooing loudly, and eventually land on my bums. I kept repeating this act while she was in the kitchen. And at the end of it, when she was done with her chores she would hug me and kisses followed and I gaga-gooed even louder. Ahh the joys of the first born kids.

But then this smooth run took a jolt when I was just 2 years old. One night I complained of severe headache by what else but crying non-stop. It was quite unlike her li'l baby, and thats why my mum was worried. When the in-house recipes failed to alleviate my pain, the ped was called. But in vain as even after a week of medication the pain and the associated worries won't go. The family pediatrician referred the case to a neurosurgeon.

"Kahee koi serious baat to nahee hai naa" my mum asked the family ped.

"Ghabraaiye nahee..aap mil lijiye ek baar doctor ramesh chandra se.." the stiff lipped family doc had nothing more to say as my mum recounts.

Papa says mum cried after we were back from the clinic. My father was helpless and so was I.
The appointment with the surgeon was fixed and numerous medical tests were done including the CT-scan. When the reports came in, the doctor called my parents inside his cabin who were anxiously waiting for the doctor's verdict. He kept quiet for a minute and then he spoke maintaining a grim face

"Dekhiye maine dawaaiya likh di hain bas bacche ko sir me chot mat lagne dijyega, aur haan jab ye 6 saal ka ho jaaye tab isko school me daaliyega, jyada pressure mat daaliyega iske dimaag pe.." and he closed the case with these final words.

Hearts sank hearing that. Pa and ma were really confused as to what they should interpret of the doctor's words who are known for inducing euphemistic spins to the blunt facts. The doctor kept repeating the same words that their is nothing to worry about as long as we followed his "Just do as I say" statement.

“Was their first born child mentally unfit?? Will he be able to cope with his studies??” Questions whose answers were written on the wings of time.

When i was about three years old my father went ahead and got me admitted to a kindergarten, Eyebrows were raised and calls from relatives poured in but my parents stood by their decision.
And when I was in my UKG a renowned group of schools opened their branch in the city. At my father's behest I appeared for the entrance test for a direct admission into 2nd standard while I was still in UKG. Somehow I cleared the test and I skipped a whole year. The cynical relatives were silenced.
Once there, I performed reasonably well at the school exams and hence forth it was smooth sailing. And this day when I think of it, if my parents would have acted as the doc said, I wouldn't have been able to even read what I have written so far. Thank you! ma and pa for having faith in me and my abilities. Words would do gross injustice to explain my feelings for you. So I rest my case here.


P.S.: My mum recounted the whole story to me when I was in my 1st year of college.

P.P.S: Sorry readers for such a grey post like this but I felt it was necessary to vent my feelings. Thanks for listening to me.

My all time fav. do listen to it..

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