Garambhejafry aa gaya!!!

Phewhh!! A trip to the land of Sivaji (-the boss) kept me away from my thela and my beloved customers (some of them ran away with the cheap crockery when they visited the deserted bhejafry stall. Ab to 'a khoon ki holi' is on the cards). Last week was hectic to say the least. The script for the week was written on one fine lazy Monday morning when I groggily logged in to gmail. One of my friends who happens to be placed in the same company as I am, was online. The rest of the batch mates suspect his parents set his gmail username and password before they gave him his first name. Imagine a dialogue

"oye chintu_cool beta !! khaana thanda ho raha hai"

"Mummy!! chunni_cute online hai..saal bhar me ek baar online aati hai!!"

My call center ka paseena type dost wasted no time in tapping the keys as he called me on gtalk right away, a minute into our conversation he let out a big "yipppeeeeee" sandwiched between two *Beeps*. I dint need to ask the reason, the mail for which we were waiting for had seduced our inboxes. We were asked to report on 22nd June at the sarjapur office in Bangalore. I have heard enough about the traffic of Bangalore where people use the traffic jams as their parking solution, leave your car there in the morning and find it 10 mts displaced in the evening. (jyaada ho gaya mainu pata hai :P).

But the ordeal had just begun, we had to rush to Chennai to get a formal medical chk up done from a particular hospital specified by Wipro.( Haija, pechis, TB, pet dard, kabjiyat ka test) Tatkal maata ki jai ho. We got our tickets booked for the same day and the thela was bound to be deserted. The train journey to Chennai from Bhopal was like doing a nageena dance half naked lying on the asphalt of Delhi streets. Maa kasam phat gayee. Accompanying me in my compartment were a couple of sleepy Kadar khan look alike uncles and my friend Rahul (oye rahul aa raha hu treat lene bhopal..tere ko pata hai kyu!! :p.). After the train crossed Nagpur at about 2 in the afternoon mast pavan chali and the sun was enveloped by mere future se bhi jyaada dark clouds, the kadar khans woke up rubbing their eyes and regions south of their anatomy. Every body let out heavy sighs of relief which then again caused the temperature inside to rise. (Were they really sighs of relief which led to a temperature-rise in the com'fart'ment??)

Rahul had recently acquired a N70 and so he was hell-bent on some video clips to be taken. Yours truly was the commentator as I described the weather and other finer details of a typical train journey. The video came out to be really phunny and I heard lot of guys enjoyed it. And if kader khans were on board who could stop aruna iranis from boarding the train, and as the train crawled ahead on the red hot rails it gathered enough of the kind from the platforms that dotted the route.

Yaar AC ke tkt nahee mile..kee karta..

Bitchy aruna iranis, sleepy Kadar khan look alikes who snore from two different traps of their anatomy, chunkey pandey chaap students (read “us!!”), Paan-beedi-playing cards waalas who have been taught in their childhood that all train passengers are ch***ya (they try to sell you solitaire cards for the price of a computer), haaye haaye Eunuchs (chakkaas) singing and dancing on "kajra re.." and when they refer to you as 'Salman khan' you have to oblige them with a smiling Gandhi baba, an inevitable verbal clash between the waitlisted passengers and the persons who have their berths confirmed (the words they use reminds me of my hostel days ..Aahh those days when you could call a spade a spade and a *beep* a *beep*!!.)..well this is what that sums up a typical train journey while travelling 2nd class.

Phewhh!! I am glad I am back to my thelaa.by the way have you ever heard idioms like Choohe ke mooh me pohe, langoor ke haath me angoor?? or lets put it this way, Imagine angelina jolie wearing a Relaxo ki chappal to the cannes film festival or may be george clooney wearing a lux-cozi with enough holes in it to make it look like a map of Lakshadweep, and if you are still struggling to picture this have a look at this pic.

Vinod kambli and his (much much muchaamuch) better half!!