Sunday, April 12, 2009

India this week

With just a week left for you to 'cast your vote' or may be 'vote your caste', the election campaign is heating up like never before. Everyone has an opinion nowadays, and they are sure wielding it out in the open, but as garambhejafry puts it, opinion is like an ass, almost everybody has a (loop)hole in it.

Even the watchman of my building, the pseudo communist Nepali had to say something about the shoe episode, he said and I quote

"Shoe-tiyapa ho gaya shaabji !!"

Shoetiyapa it was. Chidambaram faced a reebok err rebuke which he had never faced before for his words. That’s what happens when a man whom you trust with the numbers starts mincing words instead. On second thoughts why is that the shoe always misses its target, never has it hit the intended recipient, quite a shoe miss-tery is this.

But yeah some good news trickled in as well in these dire times, like India's win in the kiwiland, the miss India pageant, my new haircut, varun gandhi still in jail etc etc.

IPL is about to kick off. All the teams and their cricketing brains have reached down under. Shilpa shetty whose knowledge about the game is comparable to that of Shamita shetty's, is pretty pumped up and has vowed to put her grey cells to some use. Just the other night she roared in full media glare

"We will crush Pakistan!! Woohoo *raj kundera elbow* err yeah in ...rawalpindi...when we...umm tour them.. ".

Shut (the door) up and pounce, will u!!

Preity Zinta has promised she will throw fewer hugs this time, the last time on her hugging spree she accidentally hugged one of the poles (on which the team t-shirt was hung) three times. By the way Rakhi sawant has said that if she owns a team in future, she is ready to smooch all the players, except that MIKAel hussey.

Vijay Mallya is all set to put all his businesses on display during the matches which royal Challengers play. So this time expect drunken cheerleaders, the drinks trolley driven by Narain karthikeyan into the ground, a vivid demo by his airline attendants as to how to wear pads, helmet and gloves in a terribly accented voice-over, and other exciting stuff.

Watching the royal challengers bat is as exciting as listening to the radio commentary of the bikini round at the miss world pageant. What can u expect from a team which has been named after a product, sheesh I cannot imagine what the team-name would have been, if Vijay mallya had been manufacturing kaayam churn. Kaayam churners. Whoa. *wrath of the author is justified as he is a bangalorean*

Well the coach of the kolkata knightriders, Mr. John Buchanan has come up with a plan according to which the kids who stand near the boundary ropes are gonna be the captains of the team, who will then consult the cheerleaders for the bowling changes. Shahrukh khan has diplomatically endorsed the plan right away and couriered few lollypops to kolkata.

And finally we'll wrap up this news update with a chat between a father and his two kids I overheard...

Three of them watching Roadies on Mtv

Kid: "Papa is that fat girl wearing pink a robot??"

Father: "No but why do you ask son?"

Kid : "No, whenever she speaks we can only hear Beep beeps"

Boy : "No she can't be a robot with such Big....err..foul-mouth"

Father: "yeah right!"

C ya...btw this is the 100th post on the blog. :)
P.S. : Thanks to all who rated the ad at yahoo. Now it's the highest rated ad there. ekdum jhakaas! :)


27 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..

Blogger The Indian Frog said...

King-Makers like Maya, Amar Singh, Rajnath etc., all of them at the Centre hail from UP thats why they call it UTTAR(Answer) Pradesh..the answer to India's undying Political Drama called "ELECTION"..

2:40 AM  
Blogger NANo said...

Hahaha, after all your efforts at making the 100th post special, it sure has come out splendidly.

That Preity Zinta /pole hugging part was hilllarious. Sarcasm doused needles indeed :P

8:33 AM  
Blogger The Misdirected Arrow said...

Rakhi sawant is busy rachaoing her swayamvar on TV so dont wrry she wont venture into IPL!

Congrats for the 100th post keep polluting our minds with useless crap! :P

12:21 PM  
Blogger Urv said...

The post was hilarious man! Fitting to be a 100th :)

congrats on the ad mate :D

12:42 PM  
Blogger Rushabhh Gandhi said...

You are awesome! Always..:)

3:22 PM  
Blogger Shankster said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:58 PM  
Blogger Shankster said...

You should get one of those hot kingfisher types as the face of your news channel also dude.

baaki to badhiya hai, tumhare ye doordarshan prakar chehre ko dekhte hi ubaasi aati hai :p

Also, keeping in mind the current trand of cash for votes, what amount are you going to disburse to booth capturing initiatives for your ad?

4:01 PM  
Anonymous enchantinganki said...

Ah...100th post!
Congrats :-)

hardcore cricket fan ...yeah,tats wat u r!!

'vote a caste';-) (good one)

I voted from 4 id's!huhaaaahhaa!

6:04 PM  
Blogger Mads said...

highest rated ad means u win the contest? :O
congrats on ur 100th :D super one, as usual :D

i loved the rebuke-reebok thingy.too witty...shilpa shetty one was cool too. and vote wala quote is too cool
awesome post che :D \:D/

8:34 PM  
Blogger Garam Bheja Fry said...

# indian frog

Jai ho!

# Nano

I totally forgot it was my 100th post. I added the P.S. as an update. :P

# Aru

Useless Crap just lured one magazine editor! :P

# Urv

U r v singh and i am VRV singh!


# Gandhiji ke teen comment

abhi tak blog pe aapke teen hi comment aaye hai! :P

# shankster

Kya bhai tera chehra dekh ke mujhe nepal Tv ki yaad aati hai!

The amount is to be captured!

# Mads

Thankoos! and happy b'day! :P

1:09 AM  
Blogger Nishant Saini said...

hey its awesome dude... bytheway, one of good news is ur hair cut..but where is the pic?

11:07 AM  
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6:23 PM  
Blogger mathew said...

LOL!! too good..had a good laugh!!;-D

10:54 PM  
Blogger phatichar said...

howlarious as usual, huh pal?

Sahi jaat rahin, marde..bhaniya

12:32 PM  
Blogger Koi Bhi Purana 21inch ka TV said...

hehe another one...
the bikini punch was just too ood...i ll have it in my post as well...baad mein matt boliyo....
and the palak beep...awsome as always....

3:03 PM  
Anonymous Parag J said...

had a burst of laughter on Poor MIKAel Hussey .. :D

but he has an advantage .. HUSSEY to FASSI

read ur blog after a long time man .. lucky me! :)

2:59 AM  
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Looks like Indian Avatar of Malvin Durai !
But me want only a half plate bhejaa fry bhai !

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