Popeye ka paalak paneer
Today is my 20th day at home , and in these 20 days I‘ve by-hearted all the signature songs of the Eeeks!! Brand serials ( hey EeeKs = ekta kapoor’s ) , Danced like chunkey pandey at the ganesh visarjan of our colony waale ganeshji ,
Bribed the traffic ‘thullaa’ 3 ½ times for driving without license and a girl friend….(Bajaj ke scooters par girlfriend nahee ghumaaya karte , wo sirf RDX rakhne aur udaane ke kaam aata hai…ye kuchh zindagi ke kadwe sach hai)….
and then I called up my pooraane maths ke masterji… excerpts from the conversation…
Master ji : “…achaa beta padhaai sahee chal rahee hai??…abhi to final year me hoge tum..?? “
“haa sir, ye last year hai aur phir agle saal se wipro me joining hai..” I was beaming
“ bahut achee baat hai beta …kitni salary milegi wahaa”
“Sir abhi to 3.1 ka Package hai join karne se pehle ek hike hone ki ummeed hai”
“Umm.. achaaa…”
Then suddenly I realized that I was spilling too much jargon for him to get the facts straight.
“Sir matlab …agar per maheena jodaa jaaye to kareeb ..umm..23..*mentally dividing that fucking 3.1 by 12* ..24 hazaaar paanch……..”
“ Pachhees hazaar aaath sau taittees (25833) per month” He announced with a math’s teacher’s conviction.
“haa sir …err wahee ….utnaa hi milega….” My face was like as if queen Elizabeth is forced to sip 502 pataaka chai…
Ironically he was my math’s teacher…and I didn’t even let him have a sniff of the fact that I was also preparing for CAT with such ‘great’ quant ‘skills’.
In these 20 days I’ve taken up blogging as well.My blog was languishing in dark for the last 3 months with a single post to its name. But now its like the fifth pay commission report.
Yesterday evening I was deleting the contents of the history folder of my browser (apne gunaaho ke saboot mitaa rahaa tha!!) , ma called me from the kitchen
“Beta !! aaj kyaa khaaoge”….my head turned 270 degrees hearing this.
Maa was in some good mood to feed his bhookhaa bachaa with his manpasand khaana . Not because peace process has been restored in Bosnia but because ekta kapoor would have announced some new serials or may be the pados ki ‘ghamandi’ Saxena aunty was conned by a saaree dealer.
“Maa Paalak paneer banaao aaj….*slurp* ” I said this drooling buckets.
“Achaa theek hai ! lekin paalak to hai hi nahee ghar me…jaa sabji mandi se jaakar dhaai sau gram paalak le aa”
In a flash all the saliva inside my mouth dried up .”Jaa ke le aa” arey yaar kaam kaa naam sun ke hi mujhe lakwaa maar jaata hai.I was looking at maa aghast as she was pulling some 10 rupee notes from her purse.
“Aur beta ½ kilo pyaaj bhi le lena…..aur dekh kar lena…. keede waala paalak mat uthaa laana”
“theek hai maaa..” with a heavy heart I moaned.
*Aur paalak khaao mere popeye*
Well the sabji mandi was not like the ones you have in phoren countries or Indian metros where the “sabji” is kept In an air conditioned “show-room” for high heeled slim trim aunties to pick them up with their manicured fingers and the may-I-help-u-*smile* type attendants ready to help. And at last u receive a printed bill for buying 250 gms of spinach(not paalak you blaady Indian) mentioning the calory count as well.
“Bargain” for them, was a word as cheap as Pope watching a govindaa movie.
Lekin yahaa kuchh aur hi scene thaa..
To be Continued……
P.S: hey gaurav, buddy i'll complete your tag as soon as i publish the next part.
Bribed the traffic ‘thullaa’ 3 ½ times for driving without license and a girl friend….(Bajaj ke scooters par girlfriend nahee ghumaaya karte , wo sirf RDX rakhne aur udaane ke kaam aata hai…ye kuchh zindagi ke kadwe sach hai)….
and then I called up my pooraane maths ke masterji… excerpts from the conversation…
Master ji : “…achaa beta padhaai sahee chal rahee hai??…abhi to final year me hoge tum..?? “
“haa sir, ye last year hai aur phir agle saal se wipro me joining hai..” I was beaming
“ bahut achee baat hai beta …kitni salary milegi wahaa”
“Sir abhi to 3.1 ka Package hai join karne se pehle ek hike hone ki ummeed hai”
“Umm.. achaaa…”
Then suddenly I realized that I was spilling too much jargon for him to get the facts straight.
“Sir matlab …agar per maheena jodaa jaaye to kareeb ..umm..23..*mentally dividing that fucking 3.1 by 12* ..24 hazaaar paanch……..”
“ Pachhees hazaar aaath sau taittees (25833) per month” He announced with a math’s teacher’s conviction.
“haa sir …err wahee ….utnaa hi milega….” My face was like as if queen Elizabeth is forced to sip 502 pataaka chai…
Ironically he was my math’s teacher…and I didn’t even let him have a sniff of the fact that I was also preparing for CAT with such ‘great’ quant ‘skills’.
In these 20 days I’ve taken up blogging as well.My blog was languishing in dark for the last 3 months with a single post to its name. But now its like the fifth pay commission report.
Yesterday evening I was deleting the contents of the history folder of my browser (apne gunaaho ke saboot mitaa rahaa tha!!) , ma called me from the kitchen
“Beta !! aaj kyaa khaaoge”….my head turned 270 degrees hearing this.
Maa was in some good mood to feed his bhookhaa bachaa with his manpasand khaana . Not because peace process has been restored in Bosnia but because ekta kapoor would have announced some new serials or may be the pados ki ‘ghamandi’ Saxena aunty was conned by a saaree dealer.
“Maa Paalak paneer banaao aaj….*slurp* ” I said this drooling buckets.
“Achaa theek hai ! lekin paalak to hai hi nahee ghar me…jaa sabji mandi se jaakar dhaai sau gram paalak le aa”
In a flash all the saliva inside my mouth dried up .”Jaa ke le aa” arey yaar kaam kaa naam sun ke hi mujhe lakwaa maar jaata hai.I was looking at maa aghast as she was pulling some 10 rupee notes from her purse.
“Aur beta ½ kilo pyaaj bhi le lena…..aur dekh kar lena…. keede waala paalak mat uthaa laana”
“theek hai maaa..” with a heavy heart I moaned.
*Aur paalak khaao mere popeye*
Well the sabji mandi was not like the ones you have in phoren countries or Indian metros where the “sabji” is kept In an air conditioned “show-room” for high heeled slim trim aunties to pick them up with their manicured fingers and the may-I-help-u-*smile* type attendants ready to help. And at last u receive a printed bill for buying 250 gms of spinach(not paalak you blaady Indian) mentioning the calory count as well.
“Bargain” for them, was a word as cheap as Pope watching a govindaa movie.
Lekin yahaa kuchh aur hi scene thaa..
To be Continued……
P.S: hey gaurav, buddy i'll complete your tag as soon as i publish the next part.
Labels: My mommy n me
served by Garam Bheja Fry at 7:00 PM
10 Mirch lagi kya?? paani piyo yaha..
it was a nice one again from u.lets see the end.thankgod ki tumhare post ekta kapoor nai padhti.
Oye dude....jaldi se complete kar..!!!!!
waiting for to be continued.........
Eye ho Marde!!! E sabji mandi ka detail aam junta ke jaldi do, sab hadbadaya hai!!!!!
thankoo on sunday morning!! and let me know what happens.... you are too good! :)
you guys here talk like "pucca patnaiya laika log..." :p
Nice post yaar! Waiting for the next part....
Very interesting indeed... and really funny. Dude you pack a lot of peppers in little lines of narration: good job and keep 'em coming
# anjaan aadmi
bhaaisaab aap koi bhoot to nahee ho...naam to bataao kahee aap ekta kapoor ke agent to nahee..
# shubhankar
kar liyaa dooodh padh le!!
# adarsh
padhiye janaab
# shashank
marde ee sab hadbadaayal junta ke liye hum post kar diye hai
# neers
thanx jee!! ee sab pataniyaa laikaa sab ehinghati baat kara taa..ahaa ke bhi bihariye bujhaata..
# sh d
thanx jee where were u all these dayz...blog more often jee!!
# sudipta
i'm glad u liked.the 2nd part is even better.
# Gj
now the time has come to complete your tag..as i've posted the 2nd part
Why don't you design your own DEVIL'S Dictionary? Hahhaha! Sahi likhta hai bhai. Maanna padega.
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